I Don't Say A Lot of Things

I Don't Say A Lot of Things

But this year I want to say one thing.

May you be far

or

Near.

May you have

Strength

Love

Power

Dreams

And

Courage this upcoming year.

So with the fat season here

and while you are full of cheer,

May you pull up a chair

and listen.

To others.

Truly listen.

Hear their stories.

Give a little too.

This is my Christmas wish for you!

With Wondering Awe..

May you have a Bug Eyed Christmas!

How to Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

This week I thought I would be festive and give you how I'm having a holly jolly Christmas liquor and Java Chip Free Christmas.

Let me set up a festive Christmas picture for you boys and girls at home. Picture me holding a big ol cup of peppermint tea and stringing 9.oo dollar saran wrap around my windows. Try to read Spanish directions. Realize that I should have paid better attention in high school spainish. Realize that I will not be fluent in spainish in 15 minutes proceed to sing Juan Paco Cinco de lamar (yes I can spell Spainish. Speak it? Well I can order you an omlet with cheese.) and attack windows with blow dryer. Cry as saran wrap stays in place. Realize I have tape in drawer. Cause tape will solve all problems. Put tape over saran wrap then blow dry. One tease out later windows now have another layer! YAY!

I think I'm ready for spring.

ksl.com - Utah student becomes an accidental activist

ksl.com - Utah student becomes an accidental activist

This article gave me courage to stand up for something and ask questions about what do we chose to save and what we chose to destroy.

Read it.

Don't read it.

It makes no difference to me.

Constantly in the Darkness

On a back of piece of paper lies the map of my life. Written seven years ago I find that I never planned past the age of 25. Which surprises me cause what did I expect to happen after 25? Was I suppose to die or something? Or just reach the high level of life fulfillment?

I realize that life never gives us what we want. Or what we think we deserve. Yet it gives us wonderful moments that fill us up when we least expect them. I realize as the months wind down what will I do with my 27th year? I hear that towards the end of your twenties your life calms down. I'm ready for that.

I'm ready to do something. I realize that life is about doing something setting goals and reaching them. As Christmas gears up for one more round of forced gaiety. I'm linking an article from KSL about somebody who taught me a lesson. I'm not voicing much of my opinion about it because I believe that y'all are grown ups and can make up your minds but what he taught me was to stand up for what you believe in. To preserve something and to ask why do others profit and others don't.

Read it.

Don't read it.

But take courage to do something different with your life.

Hey Didn't You Know I Was Off to See the World?

I'm ready for adventure.

Call me today.

My bags are packed, the letter of resignation is written and ready to be dropped off to the mailbox I'm sure my boss would understand. I'm ready to vacate my life. Ready to take the art off the walls put the books in boxes and purge my clothes.

I dream of leaving. Leaving with just my clothes and the memories stitched inside my skin. I want to stand on a different horizon. To see the sun rise and set in a different place. I wanna drive a different car and see the stars.

I'm ready to put this life aside and chase after that one that I dreamed of years ago. I realized today that it is almost two years ago that I started this blog. Two years! In that two years I lost 20 pounds gained 40 and graduated from a university! Went back to work at my high school job (which truly humbled me a lot) moved in with my parents, moved out from my parents and to top it all off got a job that has great benefits but it is slowly killing me.

When I started this blog I started it with the vain attempt to be just skinny. Cause if I was skinny my life would be perfect right? Well apparently life requires more than skinniness. So I want an adventure this next year.

Anybody care to join me?

Coming on Christmas

"It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees and putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace"-River Joni Mitchel

During the darkest days this song was one that I listened to over and over again. (The Blue album by Joni Mitchell? Totally top 5) There was something about the song river that I related to. About escaping the holidays and skating away on a river to a place that was better than the present reality.

Yet now as I step back and look at those heart wrenching moments nine years ago I can now step back and be in awe. Awe that the human body in all of its imperfect perfection can create such a terrible disease yet have the amazing ability to fight it. Though I often don't feel awe about my body. Though I see and have witnessed what the body can fight I can honestly say that I am awe struck. How are bodies are not just the fat thing we carry around with us every day but it is us. It is what we present to the world. How it functions. I am in awe that nine years later my mom runs half marathons and pushes herself to accomplish her personal goals.

Another gift I received nine years ago? Gratitude. To Julene and Kelly for coming over and decorating our Christmas tree and living room while my mom was in the hospital so when she came home our house would have the spirit of Christmas. Though to them it seemed a small thing to me it showed the power of the Christmas spirit. For the meals that showed up at our door step. To the cards and encouraging words. For the act of being there. What I have learned from this? To express gratitude. To say it. To do it. To use it. Gratitude for the simplest of blessings. For this season where joy and life hangs in the air.

Nine years ago I saw and heard death. Though it didn't linger and the threat was very easily vanquished. Why am I writing about this? In a way it is a simple way to say thanks but more importantly to remind myself this Christmas to stop thinking about myself. I think about another night years ago far away on a plain in a place far far away from here and in a different time. I think of a young family scared and alone looking for a place of shelter. For a home. Though we have no way of knowing I think of all those who came and helped at the moment and the fear a young mother faced and a young father paced. Though birth and cancer are at the odd ends of the spectrum they are forcedly connected. From birth comes new life and from cancer comes the removal of old life and the connection that life is fragile.

I express gratitude for living through this. I am in awe.

To close I can only say

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas my loves.

Let the simple joy fill the air. See life for what it is. Live it. Let Love and happiness surround you and be grateful for life.

Merry Christmas.

Never Say Never

December always seems to be the month of hurried endings and forced beginnings. It seems as another year prepares to die we are never ready to start the new year. Things linger, the promises, the ambitious goals, and the weight we vowed to lose in January all seem like bills called in due and need payment. With all of that comes the "happiest season of all" where

the lights are thrown upon trees, our pocket books are emptied, and when our hearts are suppose to be full they seem to be the emptiest. It is a holiday of epic contradictions. Yet among all the glitter and the whines of bankruptcy and false intentions comes just a little light of hope.

Nine years ago my perspective of December was changed forever. It was nine years ago and yet every year when I sit in my mother's living room and see the beautiful Christmas tree and listen to Willie Nelson's FA LA LAing (Seriously a highlight of Christmas every year.) and I lay there under the Christmas tree in the darkness looking up at the lights through the beautiful false boughs (we went plastic years ago. Tragic I know) and see all the ornaments and I am grateful for the moments that I have experienced in this month.

On a night very much like this one nine years ago my mother told me that she had cancer two weeks before Christmas. When somebody tells you that they have cancer it doesn't register at first. It takes a moment for your head to grasp it. It doesn't seem real. Like a wispy dream or a terrible Lifetime movie you tell yourself that it doesn't happen. People you don't know get cancer. But not people like your mother.

And this stuff doesn't happen on Christmas.

Cause it's the happiest season of all. The season of Charlie Brown and The Grinch and the island of misfit toys finding homes. Not siting across from your mother and wondering if she is going to die.

That on Christmas morning the tree may be lit, the presents stacked with care but your mother might not be there.

The force of life that brought you into the world. The one thing that you see indestructible is in fact very human. So in this season of hurried endings and strange beginnings you realize that your life that you knew has been taken. Ripped away. There in that moment all you realize is that you are breathing and that is the only thing that you are aware of. And you realize that breathing is the only thing that you can do. Is to keep breathing. Cause in each breath is a moment that she is alive. That she is there.

The world felt wrong. What seemed a bursting season of light and music was one of darkness. The sky looked pissed. The wind talked back. I looked different. My house felt wrong. It all just seemed wrong. And I lived in the isle of darkness. Till someone shined the light of hope.

I can never say enough about My Grandma and Ms. Holli during this time. My grandma who by her presence was there. She was with my mom at the hospital. She was there at home when I couldn't handle school. She was there when I just needed somebody to offer a voice of hope. I don't remember words or conversations but perhaps that is how love talks. It speaks to the inside of us and we hear its voices through our souls instead of our ears.

To Ms. Holli. Who I can honestly say is my second mother. She organized meals, brought friends over when my mom was up for it and took care of life around our house while we focused on healing. Who wouldn't allow me to feel despair. When I think of friendship I think of Ms. Holli and my mom.

So instead of being a giver that Christmas I became a recipient of a thousand blessings, through dinner, kind words, and hope (which is the greatest gift of all).

So nine years later I ask my mother about this experience and she says the most profound thing. " I do not let this experience define me."

So I do not let this experience define my Christmases.

More tomorrow.

Little Fire

As I sit here in this lovely snow white day I realized why we are given sunny days in the winter so that most people don't end up going crazy. Plus it looks really pretty. Sorry for the infrequent postings. We the writers here at Blake Got Fat have had some issues come up lately that have taken us away from our jobs of entertaining you. For which we apologize.

But check back with us.

We always appreciate the visits!

HEAT! NEED HEAT!

You know what I'm thankful for today? Heat. This is round two of camping indoors with no heat. I would be fine with this fact if the power was out but I have the latest statement from Rocky Mountain Power showing that I paid my bill so I should be frolicking in 60 degree heat yes? No. Lets try forty two degrees and I'm camped out in my bed (aka my own version of the fortress of solitude. Shut up) with the electric blanket turned up to high, my flannel sheets, down comforter, a quilt, another quilt and the mini down comforter on top of that. With my two beanies and down coat and marker gloves and two pairs of smart wool socks. So I am very toasty.

It's rather nice.

Reading books and facebook stalking. I don't think I'm going to get out of bed. I mean really? Why? I've got everything I need here and since its so cold I took all my food out of my fridge and placed it on my nightstand so I can have a snack whenever I want one. This is brilliant! I is genius!

Wait.

It's thanksgiving.

Crap.

That means I'm going to have to get out at some point huh.

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving.

Snow! Snow! Snow?

It's snowing! I don't know whether to be excited or sad.

Forget You

I feel like saying to people yo. what up.

I feel like standing up and Hello.

Cause I'm here.

And your there.

I guess November is the month where everybody takes time off from their blogs and facebook and actually go live life for a little while. That and I had to go conquer the laundry mountain, the dirty dish fountain, and the shower where the dirty went to die.

Plus working a couple of doubles makes you go what is life? Oh wait. Its work.

But things are better.

So yo. what up?

Let's Get Together And Feel Alright.

I've declared war on the cold. I'm hiding in my apartment with a hot rice bag, electric blanket, and three blankets on top of that. A little much? Maybe. But when you have electric heat and a tight budget one learns to get creative.

That's why for the last three days I've been in hibernation. Though I look outside and see the pretty fall colors and I yet I say no. No. No. And everybody now they tried to make me go to rehab but I say NO No No! sorry but it was stuck in my head.

Things are gearing up for my favorite holiday of lowered expectations. To Thanksgiving the holiday where you eat one meal, clean up said meal and sleep. No presents. No Music. No crazy seizure inducing lights. Is there nothing better? Don't forget dear friends there is a holiday between Halloween and Christmas. Stand up for it. Blog about it. Save me from Mariah Carrey and her new Christmas album!

Please?

Plus the prince got his mission call tonight.

Fort Worth Texas.

English Speaking.

Thankful

Today I will be thankful.

I will share my gratitude.

With those I see.

I will be thankful for a chance to be able see.

and somewhat hear.

Thankful am I.

for family, friends and hearth.

Thankful for life that blooms and life that is lived long.

Blessed am I?

I will never tell.

This will be my small hymn of grateful praise.

SuperGirl aka the Ballad of the Little Aunt.

Yes I've used this picture before and yes she does wear evening wear all the time. I mean whenever I've surprised her with a surprised jaunt up to Sun Valley she's cleaning the house or gardening in one of her evening gowns. She's just funny that way. (I'm joking about the evening gowns.)

I dearly love my little aunt. She has such a deep love of the outdoors and being active. She is very warm and caring. Every year she sends the best birthday cards in her beautiful handwriting. OH! and her love of music is unparalleled. She's quite the celebrity on the radios up in Idaho playing name that tune she has several aliases which have won all of us very nice prizes.

Which is why I am so grateful to dear friends who were able to get her to the hospital on Thursday. While mountain biking she hit a rough patch and broke both elbows, bruised some hips and tweaked her ankle. So she' coming home to roost and mend for a while.

I'll keep you posted.

Helpless...

Cause this week's theme is humility.


There are moments in life when you put your keys away and lay down your wallet, take your watch off your wrist and step away from your dresser and change into your pajamas and you are suddenly grasped by feelings of being helpless. It comes so suddenly like a sudden stomach cramp or a baby. In which you find yourself on your knees in tears (not the gentle tears either but as Oprah puts it "the UGLY cry".) and in that moment you hear your voice say

Help.

After such moments either two things will happen. You will proceed to climb into bed and cry some more or suddenly stop and realize that you are merely

Helpless.

The word helpless consistent with feeling of loss and despair but I found its true meaning. The hidden one. That gets buried deeply with the feelings it carries. When you are truly feeling helpless is when you are truly open for answers.

In search of answers one might throw on a coat a pair of very ugly shoes and walk to see the moon and the stars and realize how helpless we are without help. I will never forget when my mother was lying in the hospital and life seemed to be in delicate balance and pride had to be put aside. Never had I felt so helpless. Yet never had so many been willing to offer help. With food. With hugs. With just their presence.

Help was there.

I don't have very many siblings. It's just the three of us. The princess and the prince and the one in the middle. If you do it just right on your hands it looks like somebody is flipping you off. Word of advice? Don't do it to your mom. The prince is the very youngest. I may be biased just a little but I think he's the best brother. When his back went out he had to have a very serious a very terrifying surgery. To rewind a little bit the prince's birth was one of those scary ones where either the baby lives or dies. Thanks to Steve we were allowed to keep him. Ever since that moment we all watch out for him. Which to see him in pain. Is one of the most helpless feelings you can feel. I felt so helpless. Yet again

Help was there.

While walking back I laid out my blanket and while on a cold night I laid there staring up at the stars and the moon all displayed in their singular glory and I looked up and saw my breath rise like a silent prayer reaching up there and realized that all here are helpless.

Yet you never know when it is you is the one that can help.

Cause help is always there.

Just not in the places we expect it.


Yet if you look for it.

If you seek it.

you may not be so helpless after all.

Touch A Touch A Touch A ....

In my pretend world my weekend went like this. I cleaned my house, went running, turned down all forms of sugar and bought a new car. While in this flesh tone fantasy I also was able to touch touch my toes. And there was also some random dance/musical number about how wonderful my life is full of jazz hands.

But sadly as I lay here on the couch in my own personal version of Calcutta riding the pain train as my knee turns many colors and with small snack size snickers all around me I wonder how further can I go down this dark hole of self despair?

As I lay there for hours feeling the hot pad getting colder and the light fading from my window I could only think of one word.

Helpless.

I'd become the person I'd always rallied against.

The one who gave up on himself.

Who put the dreams away to busy being a "realist" to face reality.

So in that dark moment of depression I put on K.d Lang and I listened to Helpless for hours (yes my neighbors are so going to vote me neighbor of the year) and I realized that when you bet against yourself you always lose.

So this time I'm betting on me.

I'm tired of feeling helpless.

What about you?

Lush Life

I must have been thinking too much last night. When I was sitting there at Maddox. My hands were sweating and my usual cool suave demeanor went out the window. Sitting there in the booth room I realized that I hadn't even touched the bread basket. Which if you have ever been to Maddox those wonderful rolls with the raspberry butter and honey butter....why was I ignoring the bread basket call?

It wasn't because of a good book.

Or a family member.


It was because I finally went on a date. Me. The one who runs from all forms of romantic basic dating behavior actually went and had fun.

Huh.

Who knew dating was kinda fun instead of a chore?

Oh Baby It's Pouring Rain...

My car hates my outfit. It's true. My Old Navy Jeans paired with my black Old Navy Performance Fleece (Everybody now Old Navy Old Navy Old Navy Performance Fleeeeceee...end with jazz hands) and Crocs which I don't feel like having to justify why I wear them. It all started three years ago on the worst Valentines day ever.

What made it so terrible? I had the cold that threatened to end my life, a naughty resident who had to be gently persuaded to live somewhere else (i.e eviction!) and I was single. So I put on the black fleece that day.

Bad idea.

Oh such a terrible idea.

I also had to go to Ogden to help take care of Grandma Dar (love her! Seriously.) while the Momma and Grandpa went to Europe. So after loading my car up with all the dirty laundry, homework etc..I began to drive through Sardine Canyon, Brigham City, and just before the Farr West Exit my clutch went out.

That was a lovely 800 dollar fix.

Guess what I was wearing?

Old Navy Jeans, Black Performance Fleece (Old Navy Old Navy Old Navy Performance Fleeeece....) and Crocs.

But that's not all. One day two years ago my dear friend Alise and I went to go see a picture show. Great movie had fun but on the way home just before I get to the street my car dies. New distrubtuor. Another 700 dollar fix later....

guess what I was wearing...

No really guess.

(Fine I'll tell you Old Navy Jeans Black Performance Fleece and Crocs.)

Yesterday. Battery dies.

Old Navy Jeans, Performance Fleece, Crocs.

My car seriously hates that outfit.

Turn on the Radio..

Just when you think I'm just going to drop off the face of the earth I come back with another guest and a good story. I promise after this week I won't be so sporadic..oh who am I kidding I'll just do the best I can and y'all can just sit back and enjoy it.

Before I introduce our guest I have to tell you a funny story. I have a very boring job. I'm by myself almost all day. Not good for Blake. I also have a nasty tendency to get songs get stuck in my head. So this morning I was kinda singing in the elevator. Well guess what.

I wasn't alone in the elevator.

So to maintenance lady who got to hear me sing It's so crazy right now..Hey Blake can you handle this..

Hey Cart can you handle this...

Cause its so crazy right now...

Cause my body is so bootylicious.

Yeah. It wasn't my finest moment.

Bust A Move..

There are some post that absolutely write themselves. Our second to last guest is a newer friend of mine. I met her when she worked at the hospital as room cleaning specialist. With her sense of humor and honest opinions I was always so glad to see her cause she made the worse days a lot better. I wanted to cry the day she quit cause she made my days at work so much better. Corrine is such a powerful writer that I am going to include her answers to the questionnaire just the way it is. Refer to Lindsay's post from yesterday for the questions....


What is my most inspiring workout/run/walk/day? Why??? that's kind of tough because I haven't really really worked out since college, back in the earlier 90's when areobics, leotards and tights were really cool! But I love to walk, and just taking my kids for a walk and exploring nature seems to inspire me. This summer I took up jogging around the high school tack, but for some reason my insecure high school emotions took over as the foot ball team, track team, and cheer leaders were working out. I had to just imagine that they were watching in amazement as this middle aged, chubby mom was lapping them....

If you listen to music/thoughts inspire you when you workout/clean the house/ driving the car? Well usually I can't even hear my own thoughts at home, with four kids running and screaming, thats pretty much all I hear. I personally like the silence, and usually write stories in my head. Or narrate my life, as if some narrator, in a James Earl Jones, deep voice announces to the world what exactly it is that I am doing. For example as I was doing the bleachers the other day, ok about two months ago, I stumbled and the narrator in my head said "her knees could no longer hold the weight she stored after 4 kids and nine years of marriage, colapsing under her, as her top heaviness, knocked her further off balance and she slid down the bleachers. The teenagers across the field, stood and laughed at the sight of the chubby mom tubbling to her embarrassment."

What is your dirty little secret food? I know yours is ice cream because I seem to remember seeing you sneak a few of those little cups into your cart after a long day of work :) But to be honest as of 13 days ago, I have cleansed myself of all "toxins" and have for the most part given up diet coke and sugar, hopefully for good, other than that occasionally holiday get together. But two weeks ago, it was diet coke! I couldn't make it through a day with out one or two ok who am I kidding 3! And I am always a huge sucker for a good potato chip or french fries.

What is my next goal? Or something I have always wanted to do and haven't? My immediate goal, is to feel comfortable in a swim suit in two weeks as I travel to Hawaii to see my husband. I know I won't be quite there but getting close, as in the last two weeks I have shed over 8 inches, not weighing just measuring myself right now. But another goal of mine, because in my dreams and in my mind I already am one, is to be a runner! I really would like to do a half marathon and a mini triatholon, and sometimes I think I need to sit down and pick one and go from there, but right now its just in the planning process of my goals.

How do I inspire myself on bad days?

Tough, had you asked me a few weeks ago I would of said going to the convient store and grabbing a tall, iced diet coke, got me over the humps. Some how I grabbed hold of a vision of what I want to be (ok what I want to look like and what size pant I will wear, and how fast I will run a mile) and realize that no food tastes as good as that will feel...and I have heard it before but for some reason that is stuck in my mind as a truth, and I am going with that right now.


sorry I am a babbler....and you can find out more about me on 4kidsnodog.blogspot.com!

Somedays I don't feel like trying...

Woah whoah stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue.....sorry but I have been a little fascinated with country music lately. I don't where it comes from either but it just happens. I realized just today that when I said I was going to do a weekly segment with my guests I really did mean to do it through a week shot. But due to a crazy work schedule I haven't had time to put them all in. Sorry! I promise all of you that you will get your chance to be read by Momma Joye.

Next order of business.

The next guest I have known for a very long time. I first met Lindsay when she didn't have her teeth in. I walked in the door and there was this amazon woman with no teeth. She is an iron woman (3 times!) a wife and dear friend. Lindsay is such a positive force to those she meets. Honest but kind. She makes killer chocolates too. so with much enthusiasm I give you

LINDSAY!

Lindsay with all the running, biking, swimming ironmans (excuse me iron women..) what has been the most inspirational run for you?

My most inspirational run was my first run training for my first marathon. My uncle and I had signed up to run the St. George marathon and I hadn't run since high school, I was now 21. He and I set out on our first official run at 5:30 am. We ran 2 miles, 2 whole miles. I have never in my life been so proud of myself. I showed up and I ran. It was that run that set my love of this sport in motion.

Isn't it funny how the first run or walk is the one we remember the most. I remember the day I said I was going to run a mile. It was more of a walk but lets pretend shall we that it was running. I never forgot how happy it made me. But enough of me how do you focus your resume is so impressive! I'm sure I forgot somethings that you have done...

I find many different ways to focus. I usually have to go inside myself and find the quiet. Over the races I've done I've always drawn on certain inspirations, maybe it's a person, a goal, a thought. Whatever it is, I try to focus on it for that time. Funny thing is, my dear friend and training partner, Emily, gets through her runs by talking. I usually can't talk because I'm trying to keep up with her. So I essentially get free entertainment and she talks and talks and talks. It's the best.

Its true about the princess. She can talk to you about anything! I am always looking for new music to run to so I have to ask what do you listen to on your i-pod when you run? Or if you don't use one do you deal with the quiet?

I don't listen to an i-pod. My days are filled with people talking and me talking to them. Running/biking/swimming without music is my way to sort through life and find the quiet. On the occasional run when I do listen to music I have found that "Girl I'm going to make you sweat", "Lose Yourself", and Fighter are fantastic ways to pump you up.

Darling with having accomplished so much in your twenties what is your next goal? Where will we hear about Lindsay next?

Hmm... my next goal is to take it a little easier. I have been training non-stop since January, completing two ironmans. My goal is to focus on the fun of the sport rather than a set schedule. You'd think this would be easy but everyday I battle to 'just go for a fun/easy run'. And okay, don't laugh, but along with that, I'm incorporating marathon training. I will be running the Nike Women's Marathon in San Fran in two weeks. Yee haw.

Just for the record Lindsay just finished the San Francisco Marathon with a powerful time of 3:38. But moving on...how dear Lindsay do you keep yourself motivated?

I once heard a quote, although not sure who said it, "One day I will not be able to do this, but today is not that day". That quote alone gets me up in the morning. Because today I have a strong, willing, healthy body that allows me to lace up my running shoes, I think it's a privilege that I cannot take for granted.

Oh and one last fantastic running quote that I say over and over again in my head:

....Running hurts, it always has. It teaches us that good things do not come easy. It teaches us that we are capable of more than what we think. It teaches us that hard work will be rewarded and laziness will be punished. Don't expect to learn those life lessons from jogging. Next time you suffer on the roads, suffer proudly. You just RAN! (Author unknown).


Thank you dear friend. Sorry I couldn't there to see you run! But its always a pleasure to have you here! Hope your running recovery goes well!

Thanks everybody!


B

She's just a Touch of Exotic...

Today's guest is a dear friend of mine. She and I both started at Mckay Dee at the same time! She is a wonderful mom and has a hilarious personality. Whenever I work with her she makes my day just a better day. So for my dear model friend...

Yoaneli!

Yoaneli! It is so nice to have you here today! What is or was your most inspiring workout?

leg weights! One day it will be to run the tour of France but is not really a run. But to walk, anywhere at night is lovely and inspiring to me and the best day is Saturday because it is when you try to plan fun stuff to do.

If you listen to music while workout or out on the town what do you listen to?

When I am getting dressed and putting on make up, I tune up the music and get into whatever I am listening too(romantics, heavy metal or rap/party reggeton music u know,drink all day...play all night!

Ever since you introduced me to the that song I can't get it out of my head! We always have fun dancing at work and I have to thank you for that! What is your gateway food? You know the yummy delicious stuff you can't say no to?

Chocolate cake and anything with pecans!

It's the same for me too! I can't say no to the chocolate cake but its been a month since I've had a slice! So what is your next goal or something that you inspire to?

find a good rewarding career and go to Hawaii!

Oh you will love HAWAII! Its one of my favorite places. One last question. What do you do to get yourself out of the dumps on those bad days?

Get closer to my kids..kiss them/hugs/listen/sit with them...

Yoaneli! You are such a great mom and a good friend! You always make my day better whenever I see you thanks for being a guest!

Tune in tomorrow for the next guest in our series!

B

Forget About It

I just want to say to all the people that have hurt me

Forget about it.

And to those I've hurt too.I just want to say

Forget about it

When you see me on the street don't wink don't wave and don't tease me with your smile just

Forget about it.

I just want to take what's mine and walk out the door.

Forget about it.

When you thought about yourself more than others

Forget about it.

After all baby we will still recall those moments late at night .

To ease your worried mind I just want to say

Forget about it.

Why try to recall?

We aren't friends anymore. Let's just

Forget about it.

(A brief explanation. I ran into an a person I knew from High School. We were friends once but through a whole lot of baggage drama we parted ways and we saw each other and didn't know how to react to each other so I wrote this down and with all this rain we've had lately it just seemed like a great day to share it.)

We Intrup your Scheduled Programming..

May I introduce to the world the new generation of the family? Xan Alan Nebeker it is so nice to meet you. You are the first of the greats so let me be the first to say hello. We are so glad that you are here.

Welcome little guy.


Can't wait to meet you in December!

I Got Lost But Look What I've Found..

Back in the olden days years and years ago I was a resident assistant to a wonderful building called Astach (Yes that was its name) and though I was a terrible RA I had the most amazing chance to meet seventy five different individuals. It truly was one of the greatest experiences in my life.

The very first resident I met was a fiery red head named Shilah who looked at my Blakealicious (what? if Fergie can do it so can I.) and said I think this is going to be a interesting year. Through the two years I was so impressed with her strength and humor. She really taught me how to listen to people and have a courageous outlook on life. Shilah has Cerebral Palsy which often makes it difficult for her to do day to day activities but you would never notice that about her cause she's always doing instead of complaining. I am so truly blessed to have her in my life. Plus she has the only painting I have ever done. Also her husband Matt? Totally lived in my building and met and got married. Am I a match maker? Not really but I like to take credit.

So with much further flourish I present to you....

SHILAH!

Shilah! Thanks for being here today! You have always been such a great friend. What is your most inspiring work out?

Honestly, everyday is a struggle for me. Wait I would like to change my answer, I would have to say that today was most inspirational workout day for me. I was able to bike 24 miles today, its the farthest I have ever gone,and the best part is I am sure I can continue with similar distances regularly as long as I have the time! If I can maintain this I really see my self accomplishing my goals! I'm pretty excited!

If you listen to music/thoughts inspire you when you workout/clean the house/ driving in the car? (Mine is when I listen to Party in the USA I tend to put my hands up when she tells me. What can I say? Its a Miley Cyrus world and we are just living in it.)

For listening in the car I love good old fashion oldies, and I genuinely mean oldies 1930’s-1950’s, or the ghetto music of my youth—my husband gives me a hard time for growing up on the wrong side of the tracks. As far as working out goes I have found that music doesn’t distract me enough, so I’ve stopped listening to it. Instead, I listen to old radio shows on my iPod or watch Hulu. So I guess you could say that working out for me is less about inspiring myself and more about numbing my brain.

I love the oldies! When I had my first car (Ford Galaxie 500 it was beaut!) There was a radio station that would play those old radio dramas. I got really into Dragnet for awhile! So totally off subject what is your dirty little secret food?

Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate! It doesn’t help that every time I mention chocolate my husband runs out the door too buy me some. Sometimes it is less than a minute before he is gone--

Who doesn't love chocolate? So lady what is your next goal? Or what is something you have always wanted to do but haven't yet?

I will honestly answer this question even though it makes me feel vulnerable. I have Cerebral Palsy, and to successfully carry a pregnancy (without permanently putting myself in a wheelchair) I need to get down to a low body weight and have very strong legs. So, my next goal is to prepare physically to become—and then become a mother.

Well I know all my readers (HI MOM!) will be cheering you on! You always seem so positive. So how do you inspire yourself on your bad days cause I know we all have them?

I think about my life goals and how it would be easier to accomplish them if I can walk. My most inspirational thought is of my husband and me, in retirement, serving the people of Cusco, Peru. I would love to be able to serve a mission for the LDS Church, with my husband and still be walking. But that will take a lot of perseverance.

Thank you so much Shilah!

You Fasinate Me So..

Today's guest has been in my orbit for a very long time. I met Tessa when I was in the fourth grade. She has always been quite the firecracker and I am very glad to have known her. Tessa is my sister's other half. I promise dear friends I have other people who are coming to be guest who are not my sisters but I wanted to introduce you dear readers to other people besides myself who read my blog. I hope that their stories will help you in your own journey. Cause they so dearly help me in mine.

And now

Here's

TESSA!

Tessa! It is so nice to have you hear today! So let's start off with something everybody wants to know. With your wedding coming up soon what was your most inspiring run/Work out?

I must say my most inspiring run was this morning. I set out to do 8, but changed half way through to do 12. All before 9 am. I made it! It was sorta slow, but so far, its the longest I've run since I got my calf surgery 2 years ago. So I was inspired. Started out when it was dark and ended in the full sun. Yes it hurt and I still hurt and will hurt tomorrow. But its amazing to see what your body can achieve if you just will it and train it. Its much more powerful than our minds. Cool huh?

Tessa that is amazing that you were willing to push yourself so far. I know when I run sometimes I tell myself Body what can we do today? And sometimes its pushes me to do six and sometimes I'm only able to do 2! It truly is amazing what our minds can do! Now if you don't mind me asking what tunes are you currently blasting to?

Currently I love Girl Talk radio on Pandora... poppy mixes into hip hop, good beats. Also, because I'm getting married soon (almost under a month!) I've been chugging along to "wedding dress, wedding dress". Sort of shallow, but you do what you have to do!

I totally love your new mantra! It's not shallow cause by the time you wear it you will go Damn Baby I'm fine. You sound so happy! So with a not so subtle segue to the next question what makes you happy?

I'm in my happy place often on a patio eating, sipping wine and talking with friends. This may take place at a restaurant or my house, or others, but by far this is when I'm most comfortable surrounded by the one's I love.

It's so true about how a bland meal taste so much better when you are around people you love. I think my greatest moments of my life have been centered around take out boxes and with all other worldly distractions taken away and just laughing with those you love. With all that talk of food what is your dirty little secret food?

my getaway food.... do I have to pick just one? Ok good, because I have a few that are irresistible to me. Chocolate chip cookies, Ruffles potato chips, crusty white bread dipped in anything and cupcakes. Hungry yet? Because I can't stop eating these things, I run.


I don't think anybody has just one food that leads to a happy sugar comma but after hearing your answers I can't stop thinking about cupcakes. Sweet cupcakes...anyway before you leave us what is your next goal?

My current goal is training for the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Fran in 2+ weeks. I'm going with your sis, of course she's doing the full. Not all of us can be elite endurance athletes! ;) Beyond that, searching for my dream job...


Thank you so much Tessa for wanting to be a guest today! Good luck on your half marathon! I am so jealous! Take pics!

Feeling rather inspirational? Be a guest! Just leave a comment or facebook me. Hate this segment? Let me know!

Getting to Know You

I'm starting a new feature here on Blake Got Fat. I figured I'd take a page from Oprah's handbook and feature some guest. Cause Even Oprah gets tired about talking about herself. So today I'm inviting my first guest.

AMANDA!

I first met Amanda when my sister (aka the princess) was competing in her first ironman down in St. George. I knew I was going to be very good friends with Amanda when riding in the car I hear this sassy southern girl go "OMG Y'all I need a Starbucks!" from that moment I was grateful for the chance to have met her. Though I don't see her often I am very lucky that I have gotten to know her this past year. She is an awesome mom and a great friend to my sister.

So Amanda here is you first question

What was your most inspiring workout?

Running the trails through the vineyard, because it is just me and tough terrain. And as much as I don't really care for nature it is quite pretty and I often find friends like deer, turtles, and ducks on the trail with me.

I love that you make friends with certain woodland creatures. That's hilarious! Next question.

If you listen to music when you workout what do you listen to?

Always music! I have to have music so loud that I can't hear my own breath. When I feel like I can't keep going, I pace my stride to the beat of the music. Although I love a good fast pace beat from Kanye or Rihanna, I also love a strong tune from Kings or Dashboard Confessional.

Amanda! Me too! I love to listen to the Momma Mia soundtrack too cause I know the words and I often find myself singing them out loud. Glad to see that we have that in common! Now Amanda here is a funny question but people have been dying to know what is your dirty little secret food?

Cinnabon! The classic roll, nothing mini here!

Yum! Cinnabon. When I was running through the Atlanta airport I could smell them and I wanted them so bad. I'm proud of you for not being shy and having a full one! So what is your next goal? Something you've been working on?

A Half Marathon.

That is awesome! I did my first one in May and it was such a great experience. We will be all cheering you on. Now last question cause I believe in getting people's positive views on life how do inspire yourself on bad days?

Honestly, keeping small races sporadically placed throughout the year is what helps me stay on track. If I have a race in the near future, then I know I better stay on top of my training.


Amanda thank you so much for being a guest here on Blake Got Fat! You are wonderful and please visit us again!

Come back tomorrow and see who the next guest is! Who knows it could be you! If you want to be a guest leave a comment here or on my facebook page!

Have an inspiring day!

Say Your Sorry.

(The sub title for this picture is "Oh I'm Falling in the Water. Please Stare at my Stomach.)

(Written on the plane on Monday)

I just want the man who pushed my elbow into my face as he waddled up to the bathroom to say he's sorry. I want the flight attendant to say he's sorry that his hair comb over is never going to mask the fact that he's balding. While I'm demanding things to apologize I want the weather to say it's sorry for sending a hurricane to the tropics.

I'm pissy and I have the right to feel self righteous for just a moment.

I'm sweating in two day old clothes and all I want to do is get home.

Why am I sweating you ask? Well if you have ever traveled to Atlanta (pretty city, weird airport. A train? Really?) with the wonky weather the only flight out of Montgomery delayed till the last very minute I arrived in Atlanta with 20 minutes to go from E concourse (the very last one) to the very first one (Did I mention I've never been to Atlanta?) to T. In 15 minutes (cause I had to go the bathroom.) I've never ran so fast!

So I have to say I'm sorry to the old ladies I plowed.

To the families who walked in a wall down the center of hall (pick a side!) well it was bound to happen that somebody would break through your red rover wall. (Red Rover Red Rover Blake's going to Run You Right Over!)

I'm sorry to the Jury Clerk who had to find a new juror.

I'm sorry to Bridger who had to drive me to Montgomery twice. Your blessings are in the mail.

I have to apologize to the young couple with the baby who were flying home and so hoping for the empty seat between them. However I have to thank you you random strangers. For all those who were kind enough to look at the very sleep deprived person and not say anything.

So to all of you who prayed me home thank you.

I'm sorry.

But can I say I had fun?

Howdy!

I am loving my VA K!

Yes I understand that was totally an Elle Woods comment but it just was extended to the first! Why? Jury duty baby.

Cause I am just that lucky.

Pics to come soon.


Peace!

B

There's No Cure Like Travel...

It's going to be an interesting couple of days where I may or not have internet. So please check back on monday just in case I can't blog for a while.


Miss you already.

B

Easy A? I think so.

Have you heard about?

Did you know?

OMG? Really?

Well I heard...

Totally?

After seeing Easy A and reading the Scarlet Letter (what? I can be closeted Nathaniel Hawthorne fan.) I have decided something today. That A? I think I have a little crush on Emma Stone and going to the movies without popcorn is kinda sad and that I'm going to try something. Living in small town Mormonville Utah I have witnessed, participated, and been victim to the Mormon Mafia (don't laugh. It exist) gossip mill.

Today.

Today it stops.

If I can give up Coke (except for a brief hiccup see yesterday's post) I can give up the gossip. Unless I have been told by the actual person in question I'm not going to feed it anymore because gossip is nasty. It's sludge.

However I realize that gossip is like pride. When you say you aren't prideful you are and when you say aren't gossiping and then go but I heard...it defeats the purpose. My goal is to make a conscious effort to watch what I say.

Care to join me?

Let's not let the Mormon Mafia win!

VIVA LA VIE REVOLUTION!

I Just Don't Want To Be Pulled Into Your Gravity

Well,

For what's worth I just broke my rule about drinking Coke. WAIT! Before you judge this was a moment of where I get to justify my actions and then you get to voice your opinions. I realized something today when I was laying on the floor of my bathroom.

Life is hard.

Choices are harder.

Hence the reason why I'm laying on the floor in my bathroom.



I drank one bottle of a measly coke.

It wasn't even that great.

But I did it.

And I want the bottle of Coke to say it is sorry. For a brief moment I want to hear its justification story for bonding with me. Was it cause I was irresistible? Was it because it was you just didn't know how to forget me? Was it because Love means never having to say your sorry?

I just hope I'm going to be all right.

Stupid Coke.

Gimme Gimme...

Since tonight is the night off from my OH so adventurous life I have decided to get a jump start on my Oprah is going to make my wildest dreams come true wish list. AKA Christmas list.

This lovely bicycle. It looks so cool and so modern yet retro at the same time. It comes in my favorite color too! Blue!

Yes.

I know.

I have a lovely bike at home but Oh the fun I could have with this one. However I don't have the money.

But I would like to dream of it.

See publicbikes.com for info if you want a cool commuter bike. Buy one and get me one too!

I Wanna Take Your Picture

There are certain things I have learned that with your siblings are the only ones who can accurately judge and support you. They are the only ones who survived all the mistakes your parents made.

I just want to thank them.

For dealing with me.

And still liking me.

It's kinda nice.

I think I'm going to keep them around.

For a little while at least.

I Think I will Sit Myself Down and Write a Letter

Dear self,

Will you today promise me one thing for today? Will you love yourself a little bit more and criticize yourself a little less? When you want to go into super crazy mode and want to stand on top of a park bench will you tell yourself to release it all and let it go?

Please be kind with me today. Some parts are barely holding with the duct tape work that is holding us together. We aren't as strong as you think we are. Will you say seven nice things to random strangers today? Put a smile on your face and go Que Sera Sera.

When somebody attacks us will you instead of blasting with all the pent up rage of teenager go you weren't very nice and walk away before you say something that you can't take back.

If you can do that for me today I promise you soon we will have a coke and piece of cake.

Best! Love!

Your best self.

I'm Not Calling You A Liar...

I want me some sugar!

No.

Not that kind of sugar.

The grainy kind.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Its week two. And things are going great. I sleep better. My skin is clearing up and my insides are functioning a lot better. But it's a boring world without coke sometimes. I notice when I walk down the street I no longer want to teach the world to sing. However since giving up coke I notice how many people drink soda. We are a very happy soda drinking city here in O town. It comes in all sizes and shapes pretty and ugly it's a universal drink.

Yet I think how much I have spent on it.

For such a cheap drink and my bad math skills I figured if I spent 1.25 a day on a bottle that's 459.59 cents a year I would spend on just one bottle for everyday. That's a lot of sugar!

I'm a little obsessed. Can't you tell?

Hello Loved Ones...

Its been four days three hours and forty eight minutes since I've given up coke and cake. Today is the day where I want to start a a fight with a barn yard animal. Preferably a donkey or a pony. Why do I have such hatred toward ponies and donkey's? I really don't but it sounds so much fun to say when you are kinda punchy. I just want to punch a pony! Sounds much better than I want to punch a pillow!

For some reason I think it's funny. However seeing how ponies kick back hard I would probably lose. Its been one of those weeks.

It's Been A while...

Happy Labor Day!


I hope that you had a great labor day weekend. I did! I labored. It was actually pretty nice wonderful running weather. Glorious fall! Yay for no longer having to peel myself off of my sheets tossing and turning to find that one glorious cool spot. No more hiding myself inside during the hottest part of the day going I'm going to burn gonna burn! No? Maybe it's just me then.I will miss the warmth of early summer,sitting on the lani and reading a book with a bottle of mexican coke.

Some things about summer you just can't transfer over you know?

Ps.Day 4 with out any coke and the headaches have finally gone away! Yay! Just an update on the no sugarness. I have decided to gradually give up the sugary stuff. First Coke and Cake (not together although that does sound lovely) then on to the whole band wagon.

Running to Be Free

A forewarning this post has been a work in progress for the last two weeks since the wedding and I was trying to be ever so witty about how to answer the dreaded question "So how's your Love Life". I tried to answer the best way I can and all I got was this so I hope you enjoy it.

There are some days where I can sit down and all the words that have been tumbled upside my brain come spilling out like a big ole summer rain storm just letting everything spill out of me craving attention. Screaming notice me! Notice me!

Then there are days like today.

Where I sit down to write these deep thought provoking post and all I can think of is looking out of the window and yelling PARADE! and silently sneaking out the back door so you don't read this drivel crap I occasionally produce. By the way this parade trick works wonders when you are stuck in an awful conversation with someone. The kind where they want to know the oh! so juicy details of your life's most embarrassing moments like "When are you getting married?" it's quite simple my single friends. Point to the wall or window and yell with quite a bit of enthusiasm and conviction yell "Why look a parade!" and then while their head is turned dash for the nearest exit. Or also if you are in very close quarters a simple "ever since the accident'' and then trail off in the opposite direction works too. Cause people are often very polite and won't ask what kind of accident happened to you. I prefer to say this to when people ask about my love life well ever since my second marriage...

So if you are one of these people who ask such deep and probing questions about my love life you now know what three answers you will receive A. Parade B. Accident or C. Vague reference to a marriage that hasn't happened yet. You've been forewarned.

I'm afraid today is either/or kinda day. Either you will read this and go! Oh! Or you will righteously hand me a cigarette and a blindfold and say Adieu!

Sugar Oh Honey Honey..

Sugar. Oh honey honey.

You are my candy girl. Well in my case I'm more of sugar's candy kept man. I like it. I love it. I want more of it. If I had the chance I would eat that wonderful Candyland world that California is according to Katy Perry. Confused? Go to the you tube type in California Gurls and be forewarned it will get stuck inside your head. So when you go to work tomorrow going California Girls they are undeniable daisy dukes bikini's on top...yes I realize I'm evil and strangely enough I don't feel that bad about it.

Anyway before I was side tracked by Katy Perry I'm offically declaring that in a week I am going off the white powder, the crystal goddesss, Mormon Crack, all of it. I've always said that I've wanted to experience the the withdrawal symptoms of an addictive substance. So after this week's groceries are gone (cause I'm poor I can't afford to just throw everything out and I hate wasting food. I worked hard for it dangfalbing it!) will be the start of this fun experiment.

To be honest this didn't come from a sudden moment where I put down my doughnut and said "Let's not be friends anymore shall we?" but rather from Sister H. Sister H is one of my Momma Joye's best friends. Sister H is a very wonder person funny, firm, and boy is she industrial and competitive don't ever play a card game with her unless your in it to win it! But she is also a great friend to the Momma and the reason why I mention this is that back in June she decided to give up the crystal goddess. She she did it. It was torture. You would eat a sweet in front of her and she'd go is it good? What does it taste like? But she stuck with it and she looks absolutely marvelous.

Now for all of you who don't know Sister H you are probably going why in the world should I care? Cause she proved to me that people can do this. So if any of you want to join me on this I welcome your company. Let's go through withdrawals together shall we? It will be so fun!

Thanks to Neisy and her guiding me in the right direction!

What Will I Do?

Sorry for the space of post but tonight I had to do something for a dear friend who I found out recently had passed away. Though she has been gone for almost two years I was cleaning through some papers and found the last letter she had written to me. In this letter she had asked me to do something for her that I hadn't had the chance to do or properly morn for her.

A brief excerpt:

I have always enjoyed our conversations on the gospel and just life in general. I feel that soon that our conversations will have to take place on a different level. Will you do something for me though when I'm gone and you miss me? Will you sit outside and light a candle for me? And talk to me? Just so I can keep up on the latest gossip? The candle just so I know it's you when I look for you.

So tonight I finally had a moment and I sat outside on my balcony with my special mason jar I made for the occasion (flat clear spray paint and tea light stars of the design will post pics later) and I sat out there with my bottle of Mexican Coke and put on Patsy Cline (cause Patsy was a favorite of hers) and we had a wonderful conversation.

Sometimes you just need a conversation that takes place on heart level where I could just say hello.

Sometimes you just need a moment to say hello.

You Know You Love Me..

200 Posts!

I was like baby baby baby oh..


Sorry but can I just say how annoyingly clever that song is? It get stuck in your brain and you find yourself going ....

down

down

down.

And like baby baby oh..

See? Biber? Bieber? Bibby? Fever can strike anyone at anytime. But then again I am rather susceptible to catchy songs. Ask me about my humps song crisis of 2006. Its terrible! I thought myself free of it. I got hot and cold with Katy Perry. I got dirty rich and beautiful with Lady Gaga.

Yet when I wander down the halls of the hospital it's that

Baby

Baby

Baby

OH...

I find myself once again singing it.

What do I do? It's not like the hiccups. I can't swallow a glass of water backwards. Or eat a tablespoon of sugar. Don't even start. I already have one annoying song stuck in my head I don't need A spoonful of sugar mixing it up with Baby baby baby ohh

just a spoonful of sugar! Makes the medicine goes down...and I was like

Baby

Baby

Makes it go down..

Oh!...

Help? Anybody?

Lazy! I'm Feeling Oh So Lazy...

So I'm feeling rather lazy this week. In fact I wrote a little song. Would you like a little bit of it? Of course you do. What choice do you have? I'm your guilty pleasure and you need it. That and I have a butt load of pictures of Emily and Joe and I don't want to show any pictures of my fat face. What can I say...

I'm....

Lazy.

I'm feeling Oh So Lazy.

So Lazy have so much to clean..

to redeem,

Oh so lazy.

Lazy.

That's what I am.

I'm lazy.

I wish I could do more, be more

but instead I'll sit and sigh

and say tomorrow.

Cause I'm LAZY!

End with big jazz hands.

You and I will Stay Young Forever..

Emily and Joe Jacobi.

August 21st, 2010.

A Little Music and A Little Explantion

So here is the 411. I'm not so technical smart. So below is the combination of the earlier post with the lyrics and the videos so you can hear them. Hope you enjoy it.

Emily:barbra streisand

Judy Garland...Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe (London Sessions)

Emily

(All the pictures of Emily I had are with people so I chose the Momma. This song was written by Johnny Mercer and Johnny Mandel and these lyrics come from the Barbra Streisand Movie Album.)

Heaven is when I am in your arms like this
when you kiss me and quietly whisper
Emily, Emily, Emily
Has the murmuring sound of May
All silver bells, coral shells, carousels
And the laughter of children at play
Say Emily, Emily, Emily
And we fade to a marvelous view
Two lovers alone and out of sight
Seeing images in the firelight
As my eyes visualize a family
They see Emily, Emily
And we fade to a marvelous view
Two lovers alone and out of sight
Seeing images in the firelight
As my eyes visualize a family
They see Emily, Emily too..

It Seems That Happiness is Just A Thing Called Joe

(This one is for Joe. This one is For tomorrow so if you want to wait you are welcome. I found this song the other day and it reminded me of a conversation that I was having with Emily and I thought they both have such great songs written about them that I would share with you. Hope you enjoy!)

These aren't my words they are written by the wonderful Harold Arlen.

It seem like happiness is just a thing called Joe.
He's got a smile that makes the lilacs want to grow.
He's got a way that makes the angels heave a sigh
When they know little Joe's passing by.
Sometimes the cabin's gloomy and the table's bare,
But then he'll kiss me and it's Christmas everywhere.
Troubles fly away and life is easy go.
Does he love me good? That's all I need to know.
Seems like happiness is just a thing called Joe.

Sometimes the cabin's gloomy and the table's bare,
But then he'll kiss me and it's Christmas everywhere.
Troubles fly away and life is easy go.
Does he love me good? That's all I need to know.
Seems like happiness is just a thing called Joe.
Little Joe, my little Joe, little Joe.

(Lyrics by Harold Arlen found at sing365.com)

Stay Just a Little Bit Longer...

I only post this picture because it adds to the general theme. That and I can't eat anymore ice cream because I have pictures on Saturday and unless I can bribe the photographer to only photograph me upside down or on my back so the fat all drips backwards and out of sight. Yeah. I didn't think so either.

So with Love week ending and me having some pressing wedding adventures coming up I just have to ask. What is the most annoying love song you have ever heard? The song that you hear and you find your fingernails digging into your flesh, with a cold clammy sweat pouring over you? When I was a professional ice cream scooper we would have to listen to the most annoying songs that should have died fifty years ago. When Blue Velvet would come on the stereo I would find myself saying rather dirty things about the lyrics to that song. If you want them I'll tell ya but they are rather raunchy.

So what is the most annoying love song to you?

Leave a comment.

Here.

Or on my facebook.

Please?

I promise that it's not going to ruin the wedding.

I'm not that brave.

That and I want to live.

Rescue Me..

This is part two on Love.

Cause my name is Blake and I'm the Love Doctor.

What is it about desire to seek love that causes us to do the dumbest things? Especially love that can't or won't be returned. It's almost as we would rather throw ourselves toward the brick wall of what if? than accepting the fact that it's never going to happen. Its as if our lonely hearts would rather live in the fantasy of the dreams of that person loving us than rather hearing it for ourselves. So we tell our friends "Why won't they Notice Me?" or what's worse is when you decided to do the whole friend/secret admirer because that always works. So you listen to the problems, the heartaches, and do the whole I love you and I will do anything for you moments. When you are with friends and you get the text "Whatcha doing?" and you find yourself leaving the party to be with them or to solve the latest problem. Till the moment your heart finally says I can do better. Which frees us to find love in the person who truly loves us for us.

However there is always a plus side to love. Cause of the blessed event it makes me realize that love is possible. That love can end happily. Like when I found myself in a lovely relationship with a big beautiful wonderful piece of chocolate cake. Or even better when you taste the delightful taste of Dr. Pepper on your special someone's lips (That's for you Kit) and you realize that in this moment there is bliss.

Sweet.

Lovely

Sweet Bliss.

I'm Gonna Give You Something to Talk About...

Let's talk about LOVE.

Since this is the week of the blessed event how could I ignore one of the most popular topics known to man? We use the word all the time. It is one of the most over used expressions. When somebody does something that brings us joy or to end a conversation we say "I love you". But its not just in our conversations its in our music, our movies, our very fiber of our beings. It seems we are a species that is driven to find it, use it and abuse it. (Sorry. Bad pun but I couldn't resist.)

To focus more intently on our music I bet if you put a specified search on you i-pod most of the songs would focus on searching for, having, or being burned by love. It is the music that moves us. It defines those moments that we cannot express in words. Would there be no better moment when you are cruising the vard, parking in the canyon, or riding your mule,(Yes I have friends who find that riding a mule together on a rugged mountain is the most romantic way to spend their time but to each their own.) when "your" song comes on. You put on your favorite Lipsmacker flavor (Watermelon or Dr. Pepper please) and you enjoy one of those passionate moments.

But LOVE also has a dark side. To quote the Shirelle's "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" we search so much for love. We want it. We need it. When we don't have it we become the person we absolutely swore we would never become. The obsessive friend who in the middle of a wake mind you will blurt out "I Will Never Find Love!" or worse when we have become burned by love, absolutely destroyed by it we become part of invisible wounded. Have you ever met a person who has been divorced, or worse going through it who says you know what? We woke up one morning decided to get divorced split our assets 50/50 and shake hands assign no blame and say "It was just one of those things?". If you do would you direct me to them?
Rather they become so entangled in anger and frustration that to talk with them is like being blasted with a nuclear furnace. What ever love was between the two of them has dissolved to where you come in with your own lawyer and mediator with a sign that says "I'm just here to borrow a cookie sheet!"

But when ever I get discouraged about love I just tell myself "You can't hurry Love I' just have to wait".

Just some thoughts.