Tuesday, May 31, 2011

For the Lusty Month of May and The Bawdiness of June

I shall return soon! Taking a little blogging break to recharge my batteries and my running super powers. Tune in on Monday June 13th where I will reveal with you a story filled with:





and a suit case.

It's the suite case that's driving you crazy isn't it?

Well tune in on Monday June 13th! Will be you able to guess what I'm up to?

Post a comment and the winner gets a prize!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

You Gotta Ring Them Bells!

I finished! Here is my marathon story! I adapted this from a letter I sent to the nip because it was the only way I could tell it so it made sense.

I ran the Ogden Marathon yesterday. Well actually it was more like a half marathon, a walk a ton and a sprint. The first half was awesome! It went by so fast! I stayed up at the married people's cabin by Causey so I didn't have to wake up at 4 in the morning to be on the bus by 5. I got to drive down to the race line about 40 minutes before it started which was awesome it was the perfect morning it wasn't too hot or cold. So the race started and it was so much fun. When I got to the half marathon start I finished at 2:26 which is about four minutes faster than my time last year! I even ran up mile 14 (mile one for the half you know the hill?) was going great till I hit mile 20. At mile 20 my insides wanted to be on my outsides I threw up just past the oaks which was awful I got to the water station and the first aid person knew it was me who vomited all over the course and if I wanted to quit. I told him that I couldn't I knew too many people who wanted me to finish and that I would walk till I felt better. So that's when the walk a ton started I had to walk the canyon which was the reason why I wanted to do this stupid thing in first place but it was cool to see the river and go through the canyon at that speed.

So I reached the parkway thinking that at the parkway at least I could run it cause I've ran it so many times. Nope. I could manage the little old man jog I now understand what Mom and Emily were talking about when your stomach declares war on you. Since they couldn't control the run off this year I had to run on washington blvd which was fine and when I hit grant that's where my dad and Elayne were and they ran the last mile with me which I so needed. Know those times when you think that you just want to quit? That was my moment if I had any water left in me I would have cried. But anyway on with the story. So Elayne was running with me just pushing me on which was just what I needed to get me to the finish line and then at 26 mile sign all the sudden I had needed to sprint. I need to be fast. Like our sister I knew that I had to finish strong. So beating this 60 year old man across the finish line I finished in 5:54 which isn't great cause if I would hadn't gotten sick I would have had a way better time but hey it was my first one! So after they medaled me I had to sit down which was fine so I sit down in this chair in the shade which was awesome. And I'm sitting there in my chair and I wave to Dad and Elayne and so I stand up to talk to them and all the sudden it was like every thing got bright. Very bright. For a moment there I thought that the second coming was started because that's what all the doomsayers were saying that it would happen on May 21st and then the lights went out they were walking me to the med tent. Cause it wouldn't be a race with out someone going to the medical tent.So I they wheel me off in a wheel chair and made me put my feet up.

Apparently when you run for 26.2 miles your body gets rather used to pumping a lot of blood so when you stop all the blood pools in your legs and drops your blood pressure very fast. Who knew that the marathon would be informational and hard at the same time? Not me. So after that delightful episode I was able to hobble to car. Yes hobbled. Where I proceeded to have my first coke since Feb. It wasn't that great. Anyway so after taking a wonderful bath at Mom's and a amazing nap in the Nips bed. So then afterwards I went to get my car at the Married people's and we watched a movie. So now I have old man feet. They are so gross and veiny and I can't go up stairs. Well let me rephrase that. I can't move fast and standing is evil but I'm getting better.

Now since my body has declared war on all things moving I am now interviewing Sherpas to carry me around. So if anybody meets one and they are looking for a job tell them that I'm hiring!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Jesus and Gravity

I'm scared.

It's been three months since I woke up that morning and realized that my life wasn't going to change till I made the choice to find something to heal the self inflicted wounds I caused myself. I'm guilty as anyone I took all my blessings, my individuality and my "muchness" for granted. I was so focused on the how my life was going nowhere, how I was a nobody, a loser who all he did was serve food.

I was so angry, so frustrated at how my life hadn't turned out the way I had planned. So when a friend needed a road trip buddy to California I said yes. So in February I left the cold darkness of my life and winter in Utah in exchange for the warmth and the ocean. I was 240 pounds and stuck. As I was packing I threw in my runner's log and the The Non Runner's Guide to Running Marathons and my running shoes. Though I hadn't gone for a run since October I had read an article in Runner's World who whenever he traveled always brought his running shoes to get the lay of the land of the new places he had been so when he logged it in his log he could see all the wonderful and interesting places he had been. So I dusted off George and Martha and threw them in my bag.

That trip changed my life. Each day I went to run in the sunshine and lugged that fat body all around I realized that I need to change. I need to forgive myself for getting that large. So each mile I told myself you signed up for this marathon back in August. You are going to do it. GO Diego Go! That was mantra. So every day I went running in the sunshine and I felt myself toss some of the anger and hatred into the ocean, the space and the mountains.

(Later it got shortened to GO Diego GO!)

When I got home I realized that my life goal of running a marathon was actually going to happen. So I ran in the sunshine, I ran in the Snow, I ran in rain, I ran on treadmills, and I even ran in a pool just to meet my goals.

My perspective changed. I finally had the guts to tell people what they meant to me. I lost 20 pounds (and more by this summer!) and I started making traction in life. So on Saturday I want to thank all of you, every one who has read my blog who commented, who stopped me on the streets and said I saw you running! You look great! I'm grateful for you all.

So on Saturday morning at 7 am I will take that first step in George and Martha and will wear my bands of glory (aka my Nike Sport band and my road id) and though I will be light in clothing I will be carried by you, you readers and friends whose thoughts will push me across that finish line. There is no time that I'm running for. I walk I walk. If I crawl I crawl but I will finish.

So tonight is my last night as non marathoner. I feel more nervous about this than I do about graduating from USU.

I'll keep you posted!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

On the Waterfront

The last few months I've been a rather lazy housekeeper. So on Tuesday after a Mary Tyler Moore marathon and almost dying over the mountain of laundry between my bedroom door and the bathroom. Laying on the floor nursing a giant goose egg I knew that something had to change. Since I wasn't in the mood to move I decided it was time to throw a dinner party.

Why a dinner party?

Have you ever had those moments when people just show up at your house and you have all your laundry in your living room? Or you go to offer them a drink and you have to wash one in the sink for them? Well if you know they are coming usually sparks a cleaning spree for me. So hence on this awful rainy day I had people over and I cleaned.

Oh Law did I clean.

So if you ever need a boost invite people over for a dinner party.

Monday, May 16, 2011

As Long As You Need Me..

So here are some thoughts that have been running through my head of statements I have said over the last three months in regards to running:

It's only a 18 mile run.

Are these shorts short enough? I really want to maximize my sun exposure..

I've got to go to bed I've got a run tomorrow

Kashi Pizza? And its on sale? I'll take them all!

Oh? Me? I'm running 26.2 miles on saturday and then I plan on cleaning my house?

Yes I lost weight would you like to know how much?

So on Saturday this big ole' fat body of mine is gonna run through the canyon up and down a hill and when I'm done I plan on drinking a coke and laying on the grass and be happy. So now if I can get out in this cold weather and go for a run.

It's almost here! It's almost here!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Edge of Glory

Its been too long since I wrote a post. When I got sick I lost any ability to string a sentence let alone try to run. So I went to go hide deep inside my weekend of food. Because I may have lost the ability to breathe but I could still eat. And Eat I did.

It was fab.

I highly recommend it.

Also while we discuss eating I went to St. George to watch my sister take first in her age group to win the second Iron man. What's an Iron man you ask? It would be a 2.4 swim followed by a 112 mile bike ride and just to add a little spice a 26.2 marathon on top of it. For her age group she took third in the swim, 1st in the bike and marathon. What did I do in St. George? I sat in the shade and stuffed my face.

Again it was marvelous.

So today after a five day rest from running I went for a short run of 3 miles and I thought I was going to die. But its okay by sat I will be fine. Cause the 21st is coming up and I'm getting a tad bit nervous.

So that's my update.

Peace yo,

Time for me to eat a carrot.

Cause I'm cool like that.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


To whomever gave me this flu:

Thank you so much for the long nights of stuffy headness and body aches. Thanks to you I am now reduced to laying down on my couch drinking nightquil from the bottle and having odd conversations with my televisions. Yes I said televisions due to the nightquill I can now see two of them. Also thanks to your kind generous germ spredingness I am now unable to run because my balance is off. Tried to go for my favorite run today and ended up listing like a drunk frat student on spring break.

So to whomever you are such a giver that I want to share with you the feelings of achiness and crankiness you've given me. You are so nice! Its just what I've always wanted. A chance to feel like I'm dying without actually dying. Thank you you wonderful giver you. I'll treasure this always. And if I can't do this marathon I will personally come over and thank you very phyiscally.

With love and much gratitude to your "wonderful" gift,

your nightquill buddy,