Tuesday, July 27, 2010

LA Vie en Rose

Oh those summer nights.

summer nights.

You know.

Post Edit:

This was a bad attempt to be somewhat adventurous and sexy. Lets just pretend it didn't happen and move on shall we?

Friday, July 23, 2010

My Shameful Secret...

My shame.

My Horror.

My goodness there are a lot of sour watermelons you can eat before you get a kanker!

But back to the wailing.

My Mexican coke.

My sweet Mexican Coke how I have fallen for you like a crack whore falls for her first line right after senior prom.

In the sexy bottle in which I now place all over my apartment like a dog marking his territory. Sending the message to all the Pepsi bottles in the complex that this and always will be a Coke household.

I used to be a plastic bottle of Coke kinda guy. Nice and frothy put on shaved ice. Look a Coke Snow Cone! I! am Genius! Then while reading my trusty GQ magazine they had a small article about this wonderful product from Mexico. It was Coke! But made with Real Sugar . None of that fake corn syrup. How do I like my corn? On a cobb. With lots of butter no salt. But Not in my drink thanks.

Anyway how does this relate to the wailing and sour patch watermelons? Well dear friends it has been in the 100's and 90's the past two weeks. Which is fine right? WRONG! With the dark void of darkness that is my job I wake up at the lovely hour of 4 am. To be at work at 5. Which is fine! YAY PAYCHECK!


Back to Mexican Coke and my wailing.

I just realized that I drank the last bottle.

And don't have money to buy more.

That and I haven't been running in two weeks.

Thus I am very cranky.

And waily.


But it happens!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Your Love is My Drug..

Maybe I need some rehab, Maybe I just need some sleep I got a sick obsession I'm seeing it in my dreams-Keshia "Your Love is My Drug"

It is Sunday. The day in which all Mormons are allowed to dress up in hot clothes and sit in a very hot building and then go home to their very hot houses. Unless they have air conditioning then they go home and dance around in their underwear to mock their non A/C neighbors. Usually during these hot miserable months I hide a lovely half pint of ice cream in the freezer with the words to be used in emergency fatso. Yes. I regularly call myself a fatso but that's besides the point. Today a sad event happened.

I had already eaten the emergency sorbet in the fridge.

What was I to do?

There was no way I was going to go to the store. Karma and I aren't getting along as it is and this would be giving her a loaded gun and me having smoked my last cigarette...(well lets say an almond joy shall we?) and that would be the end of me.

So I did the next best thing. I licked the ice cubes in my freezer till I got a brain freeze.

Not a bad idea when it hits 200 degrees in Ogden.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Its Getting Hot in Here..

Oh summer. How we love you after nine months of glorious frozen snow and roads impassible except for those featured in a GM truck comerical. (Or Ford or Toyota. Pick your flavor it doesn't matter to me.) As soon as your warmth hits us is when citizens of northern Utah rejoice. For about the first two months.




With 100 degree temptures.

Just in case you were wondering I am not a fan of the 100 degree temps. Sweating? is bad enough when I eat but to do it all the time? seriously annoying. I wish I was rich enough to afford to run my air conditioning all the time. But sadly thats reserved for those moments when I stick my head in the freezer hoping that I can get hypothermia. Which in the summer sounds so blissful.

Anyway I digress. So today I shall spend it visiting all of my favorite cool drink emphoriams getting drunk off of Mexican Coke and laying out in the pool at Grandma Dars.

Ah summer heat.

How I loathe you.

Yet love you all at the same time.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I Think I'm Falling For You...

May I be the first to introduce my new friends George and Martha? (George is on the left and Martha is on the right. Just in case you were wondering). And if my shoe choice is known at all it is known that I'm rather fond of the red shoe variety. So when I went to Striders (way cool staff! Go in say hi! Support Local Businesses!) I had a choice between two pairs of shoes. Though they had all the specifications and fancy runner shoe stuff they just didn't have that spark. After running around the store testing a different pairs of shoes I was ready to give up. But then out of simple brown Nike box appeared George and Martha. What can I say? I have good taste in shoes? Besides shoes are the best accessory if you are fat. While clothes may drown you, or be too tight it is the shoes that make your feet look just right. (Now I need to do something manly to overcome that statement.)

Though I know that George and Martha have a brief shelf life of 300 to 500 runs and I will eventually get new shoes it is this pair that gave me back a little something when I had nothing else to gain from life. They are like two puppies waiting by the door tripping me when I get home and happy to be allowed to breathe after a nice long sweaty run. They are truly good friends. Though you may think I'm rather odd but I know I'm not the only one...

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy..

(Here's the Nip and I on my birthday at the Oaks)

So happy 4th of the LY! See in the ever famous Farr lore we don't use the word July. Why? Well we just have prejudice towards the letter JU. No actually years ago we all used to go up to the ever restorative family retreat in Sun Valley Idaho. Al l twenty four members would caravan, fly and drive up and have a grand ol'e party. And if you have met my family? We party. Hard.

So anyway back to why its the 4th of LY instead of July. When my cousin Andrea was about 4 she couldn't say July so on the fourth she came out and addressed us all with HAPPY FOURTH OF THE LY! So now and forever it shall be known as the fourth of the LY! Confused yet? No? Good.

This year I started a new tradition. I've decided that every year I'm going to read the Declaration of Independence. Cause I realized today as I read those wonderful words written years ago inspires me to be a better person. To respect the rights of others. To be an independent person. I encourage everyone to read it. Remember that "all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." so between eating that hamburger and lighting the fireworks give a little thanks, live your life, and above all this pursue your happiness whatever it maybe.


Have a great fourth everybody!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

What Do You Do in The Summertime?

Doesn't this photo just look like a future wanted ad? I could see the potential running interviews now. "He just always looked a little off" or " I knew there was something wrong with him I mean really anybody who has a brief fling with a Java Chip Frappicino is bound to be a little off".

Its a wonder that I enjoy running as much as I do. I have a little quote that I carry with me when ever I run. May I share it with you? "I love every wonderful, strong, powerful, Horrible minute of this" (this being the running. Just in case you got confused. Cause it can happen.) I didn't realize this but when I exercise I don't have the class to perspire. I just sweat. Oh and how I sweat! In big gross huge puddles. I'm always worried that if I ever had a serious medical emergency people would have to get a big stick and poke at me just to see if I'm okay. Which I? Don't blame them. Cause if I was in their shoes I would do the same thing.

I don't want you to think though that I have become this big egotistical runner who is all like "DUDE I ran like 12 miles today and had to do like a cross tempo run with it" no rather I am somebody who goes running in order to escape from the monotony that is my life as a room service server. But don't worry I've been promoted! To room service caller! Maybe one day if I'm good enough they will actually let me put the trays together! Oh what I aspire to!

What a joy my life is!

Friday, July 2, 2010

This Time Baby I'll Be Bullet-Proof...

So. I realize that it has been over two months since my last post. I promise that its not anything to do with lack of creativity or many thoughts. Rather its called writer's block. Or as I like to call it DAMN IT GET OUT OF MY HEAD AND GET ON SOME FORM OF PAPER! Now that's out the picture lets do some recapping cause who doesn't like a little behind the scene info or as its commonly known in O-Town as gossip. shh..you didn't hear it from me..

Here's the 411 on what's I've been up to.

1st. I declared independence from Momma Joye's house. Meaning I moved out. Now I live in Ogden's version of Melrose Place.(There's even a pool!) No. Seriously. My neighbor is rather friendly with strange men. They come late at night and leave early in the morning. Its never the same guys so I feel like I need to set up a table with those stickers that say Hello my name is stickers and bagels. Along at that note I have the missionaries in my building so I have very interesting clashing values no?

2nd: I bought a Swedish couch. Or as I like to call it the Couch from Hell. This wonderful couch came with no instructions in English and a lot of slightly naughty Swedish pict-o- grams. When I asked the ever friendly IKEA lady how long it was going to take to set up the couch she said 20 minutes. What she meant to say was 20 minutes for three days and hours perusing You Tube videos of people putting the couch together, and swearing a lot in pretend Swedish. Yeah my new neighbors must love listening through my walls.

3rd. I finished the Ogden Half Marathon in 2:30. Yeah. I was shocked too. This has sparked something new inside me called running. As you can see in the picture above my sister makes running look like a glorified Nike commercial. I on the other hand while running on Harrison BLVD had somebody pullover and ask "Sir are you Okay?" that and new thing called "sweating" has sparked a new lifestyle trend. On a related topic on "Sweating" check in tomorrow.

4th. I graduated from scooping ice cream! YAY! ME! There's not more to say that YAY!

I'm training for the top of Utah HALF MARATHON! Looking for running buddies.

5th. Have shamefully fallen into the Lady GAGA, LA ROUX and KEisha? Kisha? and had brief bout of BIEBER Fever. Have realized have music taste of a 14 year old girl. Am now in Rehab. Check later for status.

If any of these topics spark any interest check back for updates.