This is one of my favorite quotes of all time from one of my favorite books The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. It was one of the first books that I have read and reread that every time I read it I gain something more from it. So sparsely written yet it has so many emotional layers buried underneath. *You can tell I love this book can't you?* It's not a happy book but it's a book written of such emotional honesty that it's changed my writing forever.
This quote above is me and how I solve problems. It's how I function. I'm a very controlled impulsive person. While I'm quite known to call up people and say prepare a bed I'm on my way! When it comes to big life decisions or problems I read, I learn, I ask, I take notes and I drive people crazy asking them their opinions on things. Research, Research, and when it doesn't work reread and see where the problem came from .
So when school wasn't an option this semester due to my work schedule I decided I had made too much progress in order to fall back to the fa,t sad, and frankly depressing Blake. Learning ASL for the last six months really broke through some emotional crap for me as well as triggered my brain that I really wasn't stuck in my life. That I could continue to learn, to grow, to make mistakes and to stop being terrified of life. That's what had happened. I had stopped living my life and had switched to just existing in it. Existing in life is a scary place to be because you stop caring about what you are doing, who you are becoming and where you are going. It's comfortable at first. Like sweat pants. Then it just wears at you till you are nothing but a big blob of pain and woe which makes you SO much fun at parties.
I'm preparing for a big change here soon. I'm working on the details right now I'm in the research phase reading, writing, and preparing what I'm going to do. I'm working on change and it's going to be glorious. Bear with me.
Oh you have no idea buts it's going to be the bee's knees!