Tuesday, September 20, 2011


I work in customer service.

Which means a long time ago I used to like people. But  now? I'm not so sure. I realized I'm nothing more than a glorified garbage dump and a complete ignoranous. People seem to know how to do my job better than me and I'm kinda tempted now to let them do it. Why not? I could use some time to play on facebook.

We as people are hard. We have baggage and issues and sometimes we just need to let it all out. I get it. I do it too. What I need people to understand though is that as much as I love to help there's only a limit to what I can do. I can move mountains but sometimes its only the mole hills. What's the point of this post?

Be nice to us customer service people. We do a lot better when you are nice to us.

Today's blog title is in reference to Duffy's Mercy. Which has been stuck in my head for the last few days. I use it in my pretend music video in my head cause I need mercy. I need a day off. I need a vacation. Apparently I need a lot of things.

Sorry. Its the baggage issue.


Monday, September 12, 2011

Pumped Up Kicks

Today I have decided three things.


If when you are having a dark and twisty day it is okay to eat ice cream. The calories don't count because all the cranky people absorb them and they don't stick to you.


Laundry really sucks when you don't have a washer and dryer. Hanging out in Laundry mats is adorable when you are in college. Post college its just kinda sad. Today I went to work looking like a bad Mimi Vice rejection. Aka why did I think this looked good at 6:00 in the morning? That and I didn't realize I needed a hair cut till I had a Farrah moment at work. If I was a girl and from the 70s I would totally be so hip right now!


Why aren't there any happy songs about Monday? The only song about Monday I know is
Big Jazz hand intro



Its really sad what is stored in my brain. If you ever need me for slightly odd pop culture references please feel free to call me I would be the excellent phone a friend. Unless its something to do with math. Then don't call me. Cause I don't do math. It scares me. Like gives me the sweats makes my heart pound nervous.

Those are the three things I've discovered today.

Thought you'd like to know.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

In an Ordinary Instant.

Life changed in an ordinary instant.

In a brief moment I lost my innocence.

Ten years.

Everyday I try to say thank you.

Its trite.

But its the only word I can use.

To those heroes who don't wear capes.

Who show and showed us strength.

Thank you.

You mattered to me, and you matter to me still.

Life changed in an ordinary instant.

For all of us.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Everyday I'm Shuffling..

Today I should have called in ugly to work.

I feel that this is a valid reason when you call and explain the situation on why you can't come in. To explain to your co-workers that your attitude isn't the greatest you look terrible and well its just an ugly day.

I feel that this is a valid reason to have the day off no?

It covers so much. I would much rather be under my covers still asleep away from today and all I would have to say is I'm having an ugly day.

So if you ask me how my day is going I'm gonna say ugly.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Just the Way You Are

A Bonus!

Here's another post to make up for not posting on Wen and Thursday! Here are the most common search terms to find my blog. Thought you might find them funny.

blake fat

fat between lungs

ghetto superstar that is what you are

got fat

weight "you've let yourself go" jiggle

Thanks for making me laugh!

All I Wanted Was the Dream

It's Friday Friday Friday getting down on Friday!

Sorry but thanks to Rebecca Black I know have a song to listen to every Friday morning when I get up for work. Now that I have a "grown up" job (by grown up job I mean 4 10 hour shifts and I get to wear big boy clothes now) I have a lot of free time between patients. Normally that means I have a lot of time to do the little odds and ends that keeps the department on schedule. But when Friday rolls around everything is pretty much done and ready for the next week. Normally I strive to find things to do or people to talk to. But lately I have fallen prey to the horrors of online shopping lust. Yes you heard me lust.

Lusty item number 1 (which is how I would describe myself on a dating website.)

A Jorge cover.

(Jorge being my Kitchen Aid mixer who has separation issues.)

Lusty item number 2:

A weekend trip to the Biggest Loser ranch in Snowflake Utah.

(Cause me and my big behind need to have separation issues.)

Lusty item number 3:

A cool i-pad to do i-pad like things.

(cause I've always wanted an i-phone that doesn't fit in my pants)

Lusty item number four:

A weekend in New York.

(I gotta go see some shows, do some shopping, and be SEEN y'all)

Lusty item number five:

Cause its like Mambo number 5 only better (a little bit of Erica in my life a little bit of so so all night long...can't remember the lyrics but hey! pretty good for a 11 year old song no?)

I would lust to have a chance to go visit my peeps in Alabama, Florida, Boston, and anywhere anybody wanted to have me.

So there ya have it. My lust list of Friday.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Y'all come back on Tuesday you hear?