Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Heartache Can Wait

For all of you my new year wish for you is:

That your heartaches will wait for you to be strong enough to deal with them.

This year will be the year that you go after that one dream. (You know the one that you said you would always do but haven't done yet.)

That you will make time for friends and family. Work will always be there. Family and friends may not.

Remember you are more than you know.

Find faith in yourself.

Know that somebody always loves you.

But most of all

I wish you the ability to hear and feel laughter.

Say goodbye to this passing year.

Its never going to come back.

All ways be moving forward.

Make this new year be your year of Auld Lang Syne which means Time remembered fondness.

Farewell 2011! You have a been a year! Will miss you but can't wait to see what happens in 2012!

Love to all,


Friday, December 30, 2011

Blake's Customer Service Style.

I think I have discovered my new model on how to be a breast cancer warrior.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

2012 End of the World

Stupid people hurt me.

By stupid I mean let's make rather sexist remarks to the token male of the mammography department. As a breast cancer warrior (my bosses words not mine) I can proudly say affirmative action worked for me!

So for today I have three lovely contestants who deserve to the "I is Smart Crown". (Patent pending)

Contestant One shared these lovely jewels of wisdom:

You are so lucky you never have to get a mammogram. This is so unfair for women, its painful, sexist, blah blah blah...

What I wanted to say was Well sweetheart when I turn 50 I get to have two fingers inserted in rear end and have a doctor dig for gold for 25 minutes looking for my prostate. So tell me which one would you prefer?

What I said was: Well that's your choice would still like to have the exam? Okay? Thank you feel free to take a seat and somebody will be right with you.

Contestant Two had this to offer to the table.

Bet you enjoy this you perverted man you..

What I wanted to say was "Look lady I'm doing this for the money. Its easier than standing on street corners hustling deals."

What I said was "Thank you! Have a nice day!"

Contestant Three shared their genetic talents with this pearl of wisdom:

You men have it so much easier the compression is so hard and you just mock us about getting our yearly screening and I'm so upset about my insurance not paying (which they do by the way its billed under preventive 100% free. Promise.) and its just our lot in life us women put up with so much more than men.

She kept on going but I kinda tuned her out.

What I wanted to say was "Well when I was a woman I didn't think they were too awful". But I could just see the face. However I restrained myself.

What I said was " Feel free to take a seat".

I'm so rotting in hell.

So who should win the crown?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

(I'm so ashamed to what I've done to the desert trays the last few days. Don't judge me.)

I have a little tradition at the death of the old year. It's rather lame but I think of the top whatever end of the year list. Confused? Let me explain so last year ended in 10 so I came up with the top 10 things that I did that year. This year is 11. Since I'm so reserved and hardly share anything with anybody I'd thought I'd share with you my top 11 events of the year.

1. Running the Ogden Marathon. See the blog post from Feb to June of this year if you missed out on that journey.

2. Going to Carmel and Monterrey California. Oh! I could live there! I want to go back!

3. Bertie! Sometimes after all those hard hours of being a breast cancer warrior make it worth it to pay it off!

4. Running a 5k in Hawaii. That was so fun it wasn't the prettiest course but it was so fun to run with my cousins and be in Hawaii.

5. Discovering the joys of Foam rolling. It sounds rather odd rolling on a piece of foam but it reaches those deep spots.

6. Once A Upon A Time. Slowly healing the space in my heart where The O.C was brutally ripped out.

7. Having such wonderful friends. (If you are reading this I count you as one!)

8. Emily competing in the Kona Iron Man. She's 12th in the world you know.

9. Talking to the Little Nip on Christmas.

10. My new job as a Breast Cancer Warrior.

11. The health and safety of my family friends. We've all suffered, loved and loss this year. Lets grow old together shall we?

May you have a great new years! Lets 2012 a better year than 2012.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

No Mozart Tonight

It's Christmas Eve!

I just want to wish y'all a glorious and safe holiday!

May your chins be jolly and your cellulite be bright!

Love ya!


Thursday, December 22, 2011

He's Making A List

(Yes I realize the text is off but I really don't care.)

I have a fan in my bathroom. I like it. When I run it it keeps the moisture from turning into mold. However the neighbor below me? She LOVES her fan. LOVES it so much that she runs it all the FREAKING time. Which makes the absolutely the worst sound ever. Picture a chain saw and a dentist drill having a one night stand that is what the sound sounds like. All. Night.Long.

How do I feel about this fan?

To quote Mrs White from Clue " hated her, so much... it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face..." its awful. Now I know you are asking why I don't go down there and whip out my badge O'power and use my R.A skills to which I must say I have. Repeatedly. But she claims their is a "smell" (I can tell you what the smell is she eats garlic by the mountainful) in the apartment.

I want to love my neighbors. A. Cause Jesus told me too and B. Santa is watching. but if things don't change? I'm getting my 50 pound weights and walking around the apartment dropping them all the time. Plus blasting Brittney Spears through my speakers pointed at the floor. Heads will roll and it will not be mine.

So neighbor below this is war.

And I'm going to Win....

Or go crazy trying.

Mean to Me

I don't know about you but I it seems lately all I want to do is eat everything and what's worst is that the food is starting to be really upset if I don't choose them. I walk into a party and instead of people being glad to see me its the desert tray going "Why Hello There Sailor!" and my mother taught me never to be rude...

Needless to say I've got cream cheese and sugar coming out of my pores.

I can't wait for January when all the sweets get replaced with carrots and celery and everybody starts freaking out about carbs, sugars, gluten you name it. Instead of "I made you Brownies"
its "Would you like a piece of cauliflower?" I simply can't wait!

From my full stomach to yours,

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I Wanna Be Like You


I went over to mother's to do some laundry the other day and this is what I find. This was at 7:30 at night.

I'm scared to get old.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Pants They Are a Ripping

Since I didn't have time to do a Christmas Card Jorge took the liberty of sharing his favorite moments of 2011.

The Top Picture of Blake for 2011

Why He Did the Marathon.

Blake's Best Moment of the Year.

Merry Christmas!

My Buddy My Buddy

Meet my new friend.

The Peppermint Mocha Chiller.
(The things I say to it every morning)

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Or the reason why my pants don't fit.

Its not coffee if it has flavoring right?

Oh sweet mama where have you been all my life.

Happiness is a cold mocha chiller.

Yo lady you can be as mean as you wanna be. Me and My chiller just gonna mock you later.

Seriously need a 12 step program.


I can't even walk up a flight of stairs.

Make that a 2 step program.

Sweet. Wonderful. Sin.

It's only 550 calories. Go Big!

Hell yes I need Whip Cream.

When its gone I cry big tears.

I think I might have a "problem".

Monday, December 19, 2011

You Light Up My Life!


Sometimes this is the thing that I am most grateful for at the end of the day. Heated seats. Its little glow of butt warming happiness is the thing that makes me excited to get in my car after a long grueling day at work or in the morning I know it will be the thing that makes sitting in the damn nasty cold bearable.

I don't think I can ever go back to regular seats again. It especially wonderful when I can drop the top (not in this nasty inversion) at night and turn on that toasty bundle of warmness. I tell ya I'm blessed. Cause my apartment is electric heat and I'm stingy and cheap I don't keep my apartment very warm. So when people come over I tell them we are playing pioneers. Strangely I don't get many visitors. Except for Home teachers. But even then they have started avoiding my place cause they know its cold.

So that's what I'm grateful for this Christmas.

Heated seats.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Ogden Will Shine Tonight

I think I've eaten my weight in cookies,cakes, brownies and candy over the last few weeks. It's gotten so bad that yesterday I leaned over and ripped my pants a la Papa Bear in the immortal classic the Bernstein Bears get fit(or was it fat?). What worse is that my legs rub together so much they come with a fire warning. What's a fat kid to do? I had my come to Jesus moment a few weeks ago when I watched the Biggest Loser finale. However I recently made friends with the grounds for coffee cart at work. I'm nothing but a big pile of vices lately. I'm hoping Santa gets the hint and gives me a redo for the months of July, August, September, October, November and December.
So if you see me this December and try to take my picture I may go all crazy Brittney Spears on you and whack your camera. Just a fair warning.

That is all.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Pennies from Heaven

Some days are just terrible horrible no good very bad days. The kind in which you wake up and pray that the day go fast. Yesterday was one of those days. I could give you a list of all the awful things that happened but this isn't a facebook status.

Lets just say by 8:40 pm I was in bed cause that's the one place where the monsters can't get you.
It was that kind of day.

But I'm hoping after the fallout from said terrible horrible no good very bad day that I can have a truly wonderful glorious happy day.

Or I'd just settle for a wonderful day.

In other news I'm running again. Slowly but surely I'm moving this body around and it's kinda nice. I forgot how nice it is to move and sweat away all the frustrations and to have a moment to think.

I need to do some thinking. When people have asked me what I want for Christmas I truly want some time away somewhere warm where I could get my book proposal finished. Get some writing finished. Get all the words that are trapped behind this mental block and get it out. To get rid of it.

But we can't get that sometimes. No. We have to be breast cancer warriors and pay bills.

This grown up life is not exactly what I thought it was going to be.

But that's okay cause I will have a glorious happy wonderful day.