Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sugar Oh Honey Honey..

Sugar. Oh honey honey.

You are my candy girl. Well in my case I'm more of sugar's candy kept man. I like it. I love it. I want more of it. If I had the chance I would eat that wonderful Candyland world that California is according to Katy Perry. Confused? Go to the you tube type in California Gurls and be forewarned it will get stuck inside your head. So when you go to work tomorrow going California Girls they are undeniable daisy dukes bikini's on top...yes I realize I'm evil and strangely enough I don't feel that bad about it.

Anyway before I was side tracked by Katy Perry I'm offically declaring that in a week I am going off the white powder, the crystal goddesss, Mormon Crack, all of it. I've always said that I've wanted to experience the the withdrawal symptoms of an addictive substance. So after this week's groceries are gone (cause I'm poor I can't afford to just throw everything out and I hate wasting food. I worked hard for it dangfalbing it!) will be the start of this fun experiment.

To be honest this didn't come from a sudden moment where I put down my doughnut and said "Let's not be friends anymore shall we?" but rather from Sister H. Sister H is one of my Momma Joye's best friends. Sister H is a very wonder person funny, firm, and boy is she industrial and competitive don't ever play a card game with her unless your in it to win it! But she is also a great friend to the Momma and the reason why I mention this is that back in June she decided to give up the crystal goddess. She she did it. It was torture. You would eat a sweet in front of her and she'd go is it good? What does it taste like? But she stuck with it and she looks absolutely marvelous.

Now for all of you who don't know Sister H you are probably going why in the world should I care? Cause she proved to me that people can do this. So if any of you want to join me on this I welcome your company. Let's go through withdrawals together shall we? It will be so fun!

Thanks to Neisy and her guiding me in the right direction!

Monday, August 30, 2010

What Will I Do?

Sorry for the space of post but tonight I had to do something for a dear friend who I found out recently had passed away. Though she has been gone for almost two years I was cleaning through some papers and found the last letter she had written to me. In this letter she had asked me to do something for her that I hadn't had the chance to do or properly morn for her.

A brief excerpt:

I have always enjoyed our conversations on the gospel and just life in general. I feel that soon that our conversations will have to take place on a different level. Will you do something for me though when I'm gone and you miss me? Will you sit outside and light a candle for me? And talk to me? Just so I can keep up on the latest gossip? The candle just so I know it's you when I look for you.

So tonight I finally had a moment and I sat outside on my balcony with my special mason jar I made for the occasion (flat clear spray paint and tea light stars of the design will post pics later) and I sat out there with my bottle of Mexican Coke and put on Patsy Cline (cause Patsy was a favorite of hers) and we had a wonderful conversation.

Sometimes you just need a conversation that takes place on heart level where I could just say hello.

Sometimes you just need a moment to say hello.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

You Know You Love Me..

200 Posts!

I was like baby baby baby oh..

Sorry but can I just say how annoyingly clever that song is? It get stuck in your brain and you find yourself going ....




And like baby baby oh..

See? Biber? Bieber? Bibby? Fever can strike anyone at anytime. But then again I am rather susceptible to catchy songs. Ask me about my humps song crisis of 2006. Its terrible! I thought myself free of it. I got hot and cold with Katy Perry. I got dirty rich and beautiful with Lady Gaga.

Yet when I wander down the halls of the hospital it's that





I find myself once again singing it.

What do I do? It's not like the hiccups. I can't swallow a glass of water backwards. Or eat a tablespoon of sugar. Don't even start. I already have one annoying song stuck in my head I don't need A spoonful of sugar mixing it up with Baby baby baby ohh

just a spoonful of sugar! Makes the medicine goes down...and I was like



Makes it go down..


Help? Anybody?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Lazy! I'm Feeling Oh So Lazy...

So I'm feeling rather lazy this week. In fact I wrote a little song. Would you like a little bit of it? Of course you do. What choice do you have? I'm your guilty pleasure and you need it. That and I have a butt load of pictures of Emily and Joe and I don't want to show any pictures of my fat face. What can I say...



I'm feeling Oh So Lazy.

So Lazy have so much to clean..

to redeem,

Oh so lazy.


That's what I am.

I'm lazy.

I wish I could do more, be more

but instead I'll sit and sigh

and say tomorrow.

Cause I'm LAZY!

End with big jazz hands.

Friday, August 20, 2010

A Little Music and A Little Explantion

So here is the 411. I'm not so technical smart. So below is the combination of the earlier post with the lyrics and the videos so you can hear them. Hope you enjoy it.

Emily:barbra streisand

Judy Garland...Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe (London Sessions)


(All the pictures of Emily I had are with people so I chose the Momma. This song was written by Johnny Mercer and Johnny Mandel and these lyrics come from the Barbra Streisand Movie Album.)

Heaven is when I am in your arms like this
when you kiss me and quietly whisper
Emily, Emily, Emily
Has the murmuring sound of May
All silver bells, coral shells, carousels
And the laughter of children at play
Say Emily, Emily, Emily
And we fade to a marvelous view
Two lovers alone and out of sight
Seeing images in the firelight
As my eyes visualize a family
They see Emily, Emily
And we fade to a marvelous view
Two lovers alone and out of sight
Seeing images in the firelight
As my eyes visualize a family
They see Emily, Emily too..

It Seems That Happiness is Just A Thing Called Joe

(This one is for Joe. This one is For tomorrow so if you want to wait you are welcome. I found this song the other day and it reminded me of a conversation that I was having with Emily and I thought they both have such great songs written about them that I would share with you. Hope you enjoy!)

These aren't my words they are written by the wonderful Harold Arlen.

It seem like happiness is just a thing called Joe.
He's got a smile that makes the lilacs want to grow.
He's got a way that makes the angels heave a sigh
When they know little Joe's passing by.
Sometimes the cabin's gloomy and the table's bare,
But then he'll kiss me and it's Christmas everywhere.
Troubles fly away and life is easy go.
Does he love me good? That's all I need to know.
Seems like happiness is just a thing called Joe.

Sometimes the cabin's gloomy and the table's bare,
But then he'll kiss me and it's Christmas everywhere.
Troubles fly away and life is easy go.
Does he love me good? That's all I need to know.
Seems like happiness is just a thing called Joe.
Little Joe, my little Joe, little Joe.

(Lyrics by Harold Arlen found at sing365.com)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Stay Just a Little Bit Longer...

I only post this picture because it adds to the general theme. That and I can't eat anymore ice cream because I have pictures on Saturday and unless I can bribe the photographer to only photograph me upside down or on my back so the fat all drips backwards and out of sight. Yeah. I didn't think so either.

So with Love week ending and me having some pressing wedding adventures coming up I just have to ask. What is the most annoying love song you have ever heard? The song that you hear and you find your fingernails digging into your flesh, with a cold clammy sweat pouring over you? When I was a professional ice cream scooper we would have to listen to the most annoying songs that should have died fifty years ago. When Blue Velvet would come on the stereo I would find myself saying rather dirty things about the lyrics to that song. If you want them I'll tell ya but they are rather raunchy.

So what is the most annoying love song to you?

Leave a comment.


Or on my facebook.


I promise that it's not going to ruin the wedding.

I'm not that brave.

That and I want to live.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Rescue Me..

This is part two on Love.

Cause my name is Blake and I'm the Love Doctor.

What is it about desire to seek love that causes us to do the dumbest things? Especially love that can't or won't be returned. It's almost as we would rather throw ourselves toward the brick wall of what if? than accepting the fact that it's never going to happen. Its as if our lonely hearts would rather live in the fantasy of the dreams of that person loving us than rather hearing it for ourselves. So we tell our friends "Why won't they Notice Me?" or what's worse is when you decided to do the whole friend/secret admirer because that always works. So you listen to the problems, the heartaches, and do the whole I love you and I will do anything for you moments. When you are with friends and you get the text "Whatcha doing?" and you find yourself leaving the party to be with them or to solve the latest problem. Till the moment your heart finally says I can do better. Which frees us to find love in the person who truly loves us for us.

However there is always a plus side to love. Cause of the blessed event it makes me realize that love is possible. That love can end happily. Like when I found myself in a lovely relationship with a big beautiful wonderful piece of chocolate cake. Or even better when you taste the delightful taste of Dr. Pepper on your special someone's lips (That's for you Kit) and you realize that in this moment there is bliss.



Sweet Bliss.

I'm Gonna Give You Something to Talk About...

Let's talk about LOVE.

Since this is the week of the blessed event how could I ignore one of the most popular topics known to man? We use the word all the time. It is one of the most over used expressions. When somebody does something that brings us joy or to end a conversation we say "I love you". But its not just in our conversations its in our music, our movies, our very fiber of our beings. It seems we are a species that is driven to find it, use it and abuse it. (Sorry. Bad pun but I couldn't resist.)

To focus more intently on our music I bet if you put a specified search on you i-pod most of the songs would focus on searching for, having, or being burned by love. It is the music that moves us. It defines those moments that we cannot express in words. Would there be no better moment when you are cruising the vard, parking in the canyon, or riding your mule,(Yes I have friends who find that riding a mule together on a rugged mountain is the most romantic way to spend their time but to each their own.) when "your" song comes on. You put on your favorite Lipsmacker flavor (Watermelon or Dr. Pepper please) and you enjoy one of those passionate moments.

But LOVE also has a dark side. To quote the Shirelle's "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" we search so much for love. We want it. We need it. When we don't have it we become the person we absolutely swore we would never become. The obsessive friend who in the middle of a wake mind you will blurt out "I Will Never Find Love!" or worse when we have become burned by love, absolutely destroyed by it we become part of invisible wounded. Have you ever met a person who has been divorced, or worse going through it who says you know what? We woke up one morning decided to get divorced split our assets 50/50 and shake hands assign no blame and say "It was just one of those things?". If you do would you direct me to them?
Rather they become so entangled in anger and frustration that to talk with them is like being blasted with a nuclear furnace. What ever love was between the two of them has dissolved to where you come in with your own lawyer and mediator with a sign that says "I'm just here to borrow a cookie sheet!"

But when ever I get discouraged about love I just tell myself "You can't hurry Love I' just have to wait".

Just some thoughts.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Be Be My Baby

So this is the modified Joe and Emily week.


Because they are getting married on Saturday.


So if I'm a little sporadic this week its because I love them so much that I've volunteered to be busy for their wedding.

Which means if you have any Xanax or Valium donations are being accepted for the Momma Joye fund. Donations are greatly appreciated.



Thursday, August 12, 2010

I'd Like to Hate Myself in the Morning

But Raise a Little Hell Tonight..(The rest of the line)

You thought I was going to go away again didn't you.

Sorry to disappoint you.

I have been rather busy you know. My apartment looks like a terrible hurricane, tornado, and mild wind storm had a wild night and came visited me. I'd post pictures but who needs to see a
terrible disaster I tell you? But if you would love to post pictures of your mess I'd gladly look and mock inside my head. But I'd add a bless your heart afterward cause we all know that will make it all better. Or perhaps you prefer sweet spirit?

Moving on.

Did I tell you?

I finally have a day off! I know. Oh boy I'm lucky! You know what I'm going to do on my day off? Besides call Merry Maids? Which raises another question are the merry maids that merry? Or is that just a gimmick to get you to call them cause if they aren't that merry do you get a discount? Don't laugh. You know you thought it when that commercial comes on with the two merry ladies in the ugly green polo shirts cleaning those grody toilets with a smile! Cause I don't smile when I clean my toilet. In fact I use those words I used from my mother that I'm not suppose to use in public. But if you want to know you will have to ask her..

On that note..guess what fun activities I'm going to do? For all of you playing the drinking game...you guessed it! Laundry! Go me and my domestic life.

So if you find a lovely lost Merry Maid will you direct her to my house?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Don't You Worry My Little Honey...

Is there ever a age where you feel grown up? Where you wake up flip over the covers turn off the alarm clock and look at your wild morning hair in the mirror as you brush your teeth and go I'm satisfied?

Where you reached all your dreams?

Did you stand up when it mattered and let yourself express what you were truly feeling?

I just am wondering if that is what being a grown up is?

When you walk into work and realize that you have you have one black shoe and one red shoe and just laugh about it instead of running home to fix it.

Is it where you heal the brokenness inside us?

Just some thoughts from today.

More about Provo tomorrow.

Monday, August 9, 2010

On The Highway To Hell..

Guess who is going to Happy Valley?

Thats right.


Hence the title.

Will post more when I get back.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

And Isn't Ironic..I




From ugly hunter green to Pool Party Blue.

When everything is finished I'll post my pics of yet to be named apartment.

But I see your True Colors Shining Through..

(This is to tide you over till I get home and will be able to post pictures of what I've been up to the last few days. So enjoy one of my unpublished blog from the archives.)

25 things about me that you obviously don't know about me through Facebook Stalking.

1. I have a love affair with ice cream at least once a week. A pint of Hagaan Das or Farr's Ice cream will suffice.
2. Java Frappicionos equal very random and crazy things out of me. I tend to end up in new cities or places.
3. I am a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of being in love and since it is so lacking in my life, I have to live vicariously through other people.
4. The hours of four to five need to be spent in bed for down time. Of all the lesson's in life my mother has taught me this is the one I follow religiously.
5. I hate to eat alone.
6. My Grandma Dar and Momma Joye are the two biggest influences in my life.
7. Along with that My Grandpa Vern and my Dad also belong on this list.
8. My sister and I like to make up Ghetto Dances to trashy songs.
9. I still have all the words to Smelly Cat memorized, plus the hand actions.
10. Sun Valley Idaho, Grandma Dar's pool, and Hawaii are my three favorite places.
11. I need to read a book every night or else I go crazy.
12. I am extremely grateful for the friends in my life. (Cue in the Golden Girls theme song.)
13. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. A kiddie pool in a back yard, a Slurpee and a people magazine and I'm happy.
14. I believe in environmental causes. I think it is up to us to revoke some of the damage.
15. Grey's,O.C, Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, and House are my shows. However I don't have the time to watch them except on DVD. Praise be to the man (or woman) who came up with that idea!
16. I hate Green beans and chocolate milk. Never liked them, never will.
17. I love car trips to somewhere exciting. With that said I enjoy singing to the Old standards in the car at the top of my lungs.
18. I love to go to bike shops. I blame my father for this.
19. I enjoy being creative, meaning if I don't have an artistic project going on I get cranky.
20. I love to be outside.
21. I love hard work because I know through it I'm going to get something out of it.
22. My grandma has always taught me that if you are going to give something always add a little extra whether it be cash, food, or your time.
23. I enjoy baking but cooking and I are having a hard time getting along.
24. I wish that I could be a jazz singer.
25. When I turn fifty my sister and I plan on throwing a huge party for being brother and sister. Why should marry people have all the fun?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

If I was Carpenter..

I need a nickname for my abode. This is the first single place that I've lived in that I don't have some snarky and somewhat humorous tag line attached to it. That and my apartment looks like Bob Villa's and Martha Stewart's nightmare. If they were to come visit me I imagine that they would look at my unfinished projects and run squealing like little girls.

However if Betty Crocker came to visit I bet we would be the best of friends. Betty wouldn't disapprove of my new creation of mini chocolate chips and sprinkles in yogurt. In fact she would look at me with her beautiful cardboard eyes and say Blake it wonderful! She would show me the inner workings of how to make a boxed cake. She would know that I can never turn down a baked good. (I seriously can't. Offer me a cookie, a slice of cake, or a doughnut and I go don't mind if I do! Is there a Baker's Anonymous? ) So that would make Betty and I the best of friends.

Pictures coming tomorrow.

P.S Does anybody have any good nicknames?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Runaway Train Never Coming Back...

For the last two years of my college career I was a Resident Assistant.Wearing the badge o'power I'd wander through the halls of Astach hall spouting words of wisdom such as "Please don't climb the building." or Who in the hell put all of these leaves in front of the doors. Or I would whip up batches of brightly colored informative bulletin boards with helpful information such as "Why Blake is the Best" or "Ten little Secrets about Blake you didn't realize". Yes it was a blissful time. Sadly once in a while I would have to yield the badge o'power to go politely tell people "Shut the mother loving goodness up! Its quiet hours! Silence! Now bow down and worship me and tell me you are sorry!"

I liked this job a lot.

However its screwed me up for the rest of my life.

Case in point.

Last night at 12:30 am the new neighbors who moved into Promiscuous Louise's apartment were banging on the walls. The ceilings. Everywhere. Which would have been fine. But when you wake up at 4 in the morning? And have to be to work at 5? Not so nice! So reverting back to the ol'e RA badge of power I politely but firmly told them to that they were bad people and needed to be quiet so Blake could get his beauty rest or else.


They looked at me funny too.

Oh well.

Good thing I didn't wear the badge o'power huh?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Waking Up in Vegas..

So how was your week?

Wondering how mine was? Well if you look at the pic above it kinda gives you a perspective. I hate sales sometimes. Cause when you are hot and hungry you look at this and suddenly you can rationalize everything.

Six pints of ice cream for a dollar?

Should I?


Then you go home and unload your groceries and realize that your brain has been hijacked by a six year old on a candy binge. Oh dear.

That and I have some sad news. The promiscuous neighbor moved out of the complex. So to random Joe #2 and sneaky Charlie I will miss our awkward morning glances and awkward hellos. To all those others I saw come in and out at night good bye to you too! Please don't write. Don't call. Cause I'm not sure I'd miss you at all. But to smoker Jane (we share a balcony) keep on smoking all the time.Which is fine but not so much when she does it on the balcony and it gets in my apartment and I start smelling like the Vegas. Keep it up I'm going to start blasting Momma Mia at 4:30 in the morning. Cause I can.

So. There was that.

Plus I realized that the princess is getting married in less than three weeks. WEE. A Wedding I don't have to crash. But more on that latter.