Monday, September 25, 2017

A Complete Guide to How Blake got the Terror Sweats

This is just the first of three rows on diet and nutrition at Barnes and Noble.
No wonder people get confused.
Part one:

The problem I have with fitness goals is that you must be completely and utterly selfish. There is no noble hiding of what your intent is. No I’m losing a hundred pounds for Africa, no I for the greater good, and my personal favorite Jesus wants me to lose weight before the second coming. They are, and have to be purely focused on self and when you spend so much time avoiding yourself it stresses the (forgive me) shit of you. Or at least me.  

I'm an average person. The song lyric of "I'm not much to look at, not much to see but glad I'm living and happy to be" is one of my mottoes. After a years of avoidance I sat down and wrote out my fitness goals and sent them via email to  Mr. Trainer  because every time I tried to say what my goals were I got the terror sweats. In an act of stubborn desperation I wrote them out fast and quick and hit send before I could withdraw them. I also sent them late at night the day before our appointment (which was at 6 Am) because I know me and I would have back tracked out of them so fast...oh I uhh wrote that when I was ice cream drunk. 

I simply put I want to find my abs. I've never seen them. I want to make sure they are okay. Can you help me? His response let's do it. We came up with a plan(post coming soon) in that very visit. 

Yet by finally confessing what I wanted had the opposite effect it sent me into an emotional tail spin of shame and doubt that had me main lining carbs like Leonardo Dicaprio in J. Edgar. Why did this put me in a storm? Because when you say what you desire it becomes true and real and that's really scary. And we all know I don't do scary

Part two tomorrow. 

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