Take Me to Church

Not Target. Or Taco Bell. But one of the missions I went to in Monterrey  CA. 

I went to Mass on Friday night. Well not really more like I went to Target and for many that’s just as/or better than church. Mormon’s don’t have a Mass but I was in search of something of the divine.

There is something about going somewhere where it sells the idea of possibility when your life seems out of control. Like mass I went because I was seeking absolution and to be among the masses. Target is one of those places where you can go and it becomes the greatest equalizer of people. Rich, poor, and those in the middle all come to Target. You cannot really pit yourself above others when you buy the same method dish soap.

With all the hurricanes, earthquakes, presidential upheaval, and just personal life changes (did you know I’m fat?) and I was seeking a place where I could hold up the idea of change and something better than what I’ve been living the last few months.

Besides what is more American than going to go worship at the altar of capitalism I ask you?  Standing in the air filter aisle (if anybody has a lead on 14X14X1 filters let me know) that if I truly wanted a life that is different than the one I’m living I’ve got to be brave.

And that scares me.

Cause I have no excuses anymore. I’m not in school, I only have one job, and I’m still young enough to shake up my life before it becomes too late. Why is losing weight scary? It’s the not the weight I’m afraid of losing it’s the learning of new processes to deal with my embarrassment, my anger, and desperately my shame? Without food to take the edge off and actually sit in these emotions scares the (insert favorite swear word here) out of me.  

Leaving without buying anything (progress!) I walked to my car with one last thought, a communion if you will, to truly change something has die within me in order for it to be reborn. Cause that’s the point of Mass, Sacrament, etc. is leaving the sinner soul and allowing ourselves to be reborn.

Who knew Target could be holy?