Saturday, July 25, 2009
I Fall to Pieces...
(I know I know I've used this photo before but I've been lazy. Really lazy.)
This is not a happy post. Just a little warning.
Have you ever felt that you were stuck in a circle of perpetual crazy? The last few days I have been on such a eating bender trying to make myself feel better about my life and where I'm going.
I'm getting frustrated.
That and I'm hot and bothered. I'm ready for the rain.
Cool me down a little.
I took a little spontaneous blogging vacation. I hadn't planned on it but at the moment my life consists of many hours of scooping and little success in getting in the door of where I want to go. Have you ever experienced those moments when you look at where your life is and the dreams you had? How much do you want to hear me carp about the stickiness of my arms? Cause at the moment the are really sticky so sticky that in fact I put my arms down on the table and got stuck.
Picture me trying to lift my arms off the table.
A little whimper.
Great cardio workout though.
I'm not going to lie. I thought that I had mastered the whole sugary cravings and was eating so well when my emotions took a nose dive and I rediscovered the wonders of all the blackness that truly lies inside the freezer section of a grocery store. I eat to fill the void inside. Isn't that sad?
I eat to hide my shame.
I eat for that moment when I get to feel full instead of empty.
Like all addicts though you hate yourself more when you have been skinny cause now you have the memory of what it felt like to be fit and happy. Yet I went to the gym. It made me feel better.
Just a little.
There is hope.
Stick with me.