What the?

I am sorry about the lack of post lately. But if you could see me at the moment you would completely understand and go I forgive you for the lack of entertainment that I have provided for you this week. As you all are well aware (if you haven't been reading go ahead catch up I won't mind) I declared that I was going to haul this fat body of mine running for 26 miles in May (btw? You all? Are invited to watch. Its going to be entertaining.) but because 231.6 pounds is not something I want to haul down the mountain (running no less!) I decided that I would support my local Gold's Gym.

I like the gym. Wait. Scratch that. I go to the gym because the spring in February ended and I can't run outside every day. So yesterday being all brave I went to a Gym class by myself. I figured if I am pushing myself for a full marathon what's a gym class. This is where I went wrong friends. This is where it went horribly wrong.

It was simply called Body ATTACK! I just loved saying it. Body ATTACK! Throw in a karate punch and its your social awkwardness goes waaay down. Trust me. So I showed up and realized I was in trouble when I spot the teachers. Aerobic Barbie and her Side kick Low Exercise shirt Skipper. (Now before you get preachy if you have to stop what you are doing in a middle of an exercise class to pull your shirt up and it still looks like you did nothing its too low.) How do I describe Body ATTACK? (HI YA that was the karate chop just so you know.) It was like a cheerleader melded with a Barbie and a Southern Baptist preacher. As we kicked, and did the pony (yes that classic dance move the pony) randomly Barbie would shout come to me! I need to feel your energy! Somebody doesn't have the energy! Is it you? and then point to the whole class. Which after six laps around the classroom doing the pony I had considerably lost the energy and began to mock them relentlessly in my mind.

Hence this blog post.

I have more to say. But arms too sore to type now.