Friday, April 20, 2012


I've been a bad bad boy.

Oh yesterday I did things that I'm not very proud of. Acts that would make any dieter gasp in horror at the sins that I have committed against myself. I need to cleanse my soul of the massive amount sugary paste and carbs that were consumed yesterday. So so many carbs gave their life yesterday. So so many. It was one of those hang your head down in shame kinda of days.

To begin this tell of epic tell of woe it all started with the intent to go to yoga. On a Thurs. morning. At 10 am. On my day off. I figured it would be good stretching for the race and to do some light exercise (some might say light exercise would include cleaning but I don't use that dirty word.) yet when I awoke at 10:00 am I simply looked at the clock, looked at the window (which really KSL weather? It has not been "nice" at all this week.) and decided that I was going to treat myself to a day in bed. Well not the whole day but have a lazy morning.

After reading the paper and my book and dozing I went to lunch with my grandma and the momma Joye. So we went to Tony's. Cause that's where I go when I need to carbo load. Good ole' Tony's. This is where I did things that I'm not proud of. I ordered my usual rigatoni dinner and it was wonderful. Gloriously wonderful white pasta. With bread. I don't remember much but when I was done I know I had a serious headache.

Sweet carbs. Apparently you know how to sucker punch a guy.

But it doesn't end there.

Oh no dear friends it goes on.

Later after coming home and moaning for an hour I went to Roosters to meet some friends for a baby shower. Instead of saying I've already eaten my weight in carbs today and I shall have a water and that's all I had the pear gongrozla (let's just call it the fancy cheese name that I can't say spell or pronounce. I had to point to it on the menu and go that one!) which was awesome but just added to the whole I feel like the good year blimp feeling.

This could be the part where I told you I went walking, or I stretched, or stapled my mouth shut but no. No I did not. I went to see the married people and they had lots and lots of candy. Oh sweet blessed Reese's eggs, peanut butter M&M's, sour patch water melons, watermelon taffy and cotton candy taffy that was Blue! Blue I tell you! (I can't say no to blue food however that's a whole other blog post.) and they were there all shiny and new and I my tongue was like a virgin that had been touched by sugar for the very first time.

(all together now Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time! When your heart beat next to mine... like a virgin..yes. I've totally gone to the Madonna zone. I'm sorry.)

So now it is almost 9 o clock in the morning and I feel bloated, caramelized, and my head hurts. I can't believe I used to think this was an okay feeling all the time. No wonder I became a brick house.

This is why I hate the Nutcracker. It gives you unrealistic expectations on what sugar can do for you. I realize this is a totally random way to end a blog post but its true. Its all the Nutcracker's fault.

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