Why I Would Be a Terrible Junkie.

What I wanted to eat while I was writing this post. 

I would be a terrible junkie. Besides the fact that I value oral health and living indoors, I have a little bit of phobia of needles. Every year when I get my flu shot I have to give myself a big pep talk, and look for the person who doesn’t look like they hate the world. At work,when we get our flu shots, cattle ranch style in a big auditorium.Here is my practical advice on how to handle this situation. Scan the room. Look for the nursing student who is interacting with the other students and doesn’t look like they are thinking of murder. This is very important. If at any time you think they would make a good dominatrix run. Your arm will thank you.

This is how I operated. No big deal. Infrequent and once a year. I could handle that.

Imagine my surprise when my doctor prescribed shots for me. I seriously questioned his medical expertise. No I did not say that to him but I'm sure my face did. This is not what I do. I am a pill type of person. Open mouth, throw pills down take a drink a water. Done. Pills food it’s all the same. Shots? Not so much.

Here's the embarrassing part. If  I was to show you the size of the syringe and needle you would go but it's so fun-sized! After filling my prescription I went home and got on the Youtube. Don't do this. It's almost as bad as WebMD but with sound effects and narration.From one of the videos I watched "So I'm just going to grab this big ole fleshy part of my belly say "Hi Belly!" and then this genius had a good 10 minute conversation with the belly as if it was a puppy.Whose a good belly? You are a good belly! 

Just No.

While I was able to find several informative videos without puppy sound effects the thought of jabbing myself was giving me the cold sweats. 

"BRAVE!" I yelled. That's your word! What would a brave person do? After several slow eyed blinks I remembered I worked with almost 15 nurses and my sister in law is in training to be one. Bringing my the supplies I sat down by one of my work friends and said "Hey, want to teach me how to be a junkie?" This is a great opening line for any social event by the way. Church, linger first dates, job interviews...the possibilities are endless!  

Explaining my fears, (cause when I'm nervous I tend to nervous babble.) and after listening to me ramble for a few minutes she calmly explained and showed me how to do it. Huh. I thought not so complicated as I made  this out to be. Then she handed me the shot and said you ready to do this? 

If this was a Grey's Anatomy episode Chasing Cars  would be playing. 

Moment of truth. 

Am I brave? 

Can I do this? 

Taking the syringe I held it for a second. 

Deep breath in. 

Deep breath out. 

I pinched the skin. 

Hello belly. 

This is it. 

I'm doing this. 

Jab. 

Didn't die. Didn't pass out. In fact it was quite anticlimactic. 

Still would rather take a pill though.