They Way We Were

Back when I thought being blonde was a good idea.
(It wasn't.) 

It has a finally happened.

I thought I had more time.

How did this happen?

I had that moment that every young thirty-something fears. You will make fun of me but I guess I have to come out with it. I forgot my age. Worse it was not one of those I was at a party moments where you get blindsided and you stumble out random words like ROOSEVELT? No, I was at home on the couch watching re-runs of Fixer Upper (the episode where Johana does her first mid-century-modern house. That I remember.) and Chip makes some comment about age and my brain obviously not distracted enough by the show goes wait! How old are we?  We all know what happens next right?

(I attempt to do math. Below is the unedited version of my thought process.

“My birthday is June and its now January 2018 and I was born in (__X__) and if you subtract that from 18 and then carry the one and that gives me 54. Wait. I did that wrong okay let’s try that again. Subtract X and then don’t do the 19 and 20 (here’s where I turn into Matthew McConaughey) alright alright and that gives me x+y=A wait did I just screw up the Pythagorean theorem? When do I factor this and get a remainder?”  

Finally, the embarrassment and frustration set in and I got up from the couch and fished out my phone out of the couch. Take that Mrs. Montgomery I do carry a calculator with me wherever I go!HA! Blake and Apple for the win. I AM WINNA! After writing that sentence my shame rattle* just went off. Putting the numbers in I found out I’m the same age I was in June. Which is horrible cause when at my birthday party I said I love this age it's the same number on both sides! So easy to remember. 

Good thing I’m a fan of those high waist adjustable pants and slip on shoes.

*The shame rattle is the sound I imagine in my head when I act like bad reality show contestant.