Today is the eleventh day out of the 146 out of this challenge to myself. Or as I like to call it the day that the doughnut craving kicks in. I just want a doughnut so freaking bad that it’s not even funny. I woke up and the conversation in my head went something like this:
Me: Oh yay. It’s Thursday. I’m up.
Festus: ME WANT DOUGHNUT.
Me: Festus we don’t eat doughnuts anymore. While they are magically delicious with their white glaze and the artfully placed sprinkles it will just bring around the feeling of guilt and bloated.
Festus: ME WANT DOUGHNUT! LOVE BLOATED.
Me: UGH. You don’t love bloated. Bloated makes not fit into shirts and have to wear the muumuu to work. (The muumuu is a shirt I had to buy when I was so fat I couldn’t wear any other clothes.) We don’t like the muumuu. Look let’s enjoy this lovely cup of herbal tea. You like tea remember?
Festus: Me. DON’T. WANT. TEA! ME WANT DOUGHNUT!
It’s been a non-stop party going on here. While I’m fighting that little fat bastard (aka the Festus) I’m proud of myself for not going to Krispy Kreme and ordering all the doughnuts just because I have all the feels. I’m realizing that this doughnut craving is nothing more than just that a craving of stress. I know that I would eat the doughnut. Feel guilty and not really enjoy it. It’s not as magical as my sugar craving brain would have me believe. It’s just too bad that broccoli doesn’t take like a doughnut. It will pass and I’ll be able to squeeze myself into a suit tomorrow for the blessed event. (AKA the wedding.) Let us pray the Spanx hold out. Two layers. I’ll be sweating bullets but the Festus will be looking like he’s under control!
Festus: FESTUS WANTS DOUGHNUT! SEND DOUGHNUTS TO THE FESTUS!
This is how the rest of the day is going to go. Hope you have a great day!