Monday, August 29, 2011

Ghetto Superstar

Mary Katherine Gallagher once said that are two types of people in the world those who merely dip their toes in the waters of a swimming pool slowly getting in acclimating themselves to the cold and then there is the other type who merely stand on the end of the pool and jump dealing with the freezing consequence later. I have made this my life philosophy looking for people who look at life from all different angles. Cause I have found that I need a mixture of both, people who use caution who allow me to sample life with restraint and forethought to the future.

But I need wild and crazy too. Cause if I am too cautious, too focused on living for tomorrow instead of today I end up bluntly constipated in my life. Backed up in emotional and thrilling moments and need those people to push me in the pool. Clear me out if you will.

What this means is that I need to make some friends. Apparently I'm lonely. I didn't realize this till yesterday when I finally officially breached the single ward barrier. (FYI Single Wards is what my church does to all the people who aren't married between the ages of 18-30 if you aren't married by 30 they consider you a lost cause and throw you back into a family ward. Its suppose to make us feel "special").

I'm not looking to get married but I am looking for some people who like to dip their toes in the water and those who like to throw themselves whole heartily in the deep end. Cause everybody could use a friend no?

Friday, August 26, 2011


(I'm being haunted by my ironing is the theme of this picture)

Sorry for not posting yesterday but I was having a domestic day. I woke up at 9:30 lounged around my apartment for a few moments (aka watched 2 episodes of Grey's I forgot how good it use to be!) and ironed. Then I had a great lunch with Grandma Dar and my mother and went to Target. After spending some quality time looking around (it was so hot I didn't want to go near anything that had to deal with that awful heat. Did I mention I hate August?) had to buy new tires for Bertie and then went to the mothers for something important but I can't remember what and then went home.

Washed Bertie. Treated the soft top so it will stay in great condition and then went to the 7-11 where I got me a big ol' slurpee. Its Blue Raspberry/ Pina Colda month at the 7-11. In case you were wondering those are my favorite flavors. Watched the Bomb in the Chest episode of Grey's will be dedicating a separate post to that later.

Which leads me to the really exciting moment I had this morning. My power went out last night. AKA my alarm went to battery powered and it being in the unhearable range made me really late for work this morning. Love that when that happens. So today I look oh so pretty. Not really but lets pretend shall we? Cause there is nothing I love more than a morning heart attack to get me started in the morning. Oh. I love Fridays.

Anyway hope y'all are having a "great" morning. Oh and I'm bored of being in Ogden and ready to travel somewhere fun. Anybody know where I should go? Who I can stay with?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

By the Sea

(Me and my Chacos. at the beach in Gulala sounds like kola California.)

Have you ever had those mornings when you get dressed and you look at yourself in the mirror and go this isn't going to work. In fact this outfit is absolutely and completely wrong but you look at the clock and go IEEEE! LATE! I'M LATE! SO LATE! No?Maybe its just me then.

Its moments like those that you know that you should go back to bed crawl under the covers call work stating that you need a personal mental health day. Oh what I would give for a mental health day. I'd sleep in, wake up go lounge by the pool and when I was done feeling like a baked potato I would go and sit in the darkness of the movie theater with a small bucket of pop corn and a catch up on all the picture shows that I have missed out on for the last couple of months.

What a nice dream.

Too bad I'll be wasting it at work.

But isn't that how life goes?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Johnny B. Goode

(Photo of Sea weed at The Sea Ranch)

I rise to a point of clarification. Sorry I've always wanted to say that. A few days ago on Facebook I posted a status that said It's called Deafness not Gayness Dumbass. There are things in life you can control. How much you eat, how much Grey's Anatomy you watch, and how you talk to people. Then there are things that you have no control of, the little flukes of nature and genetic material that you acquire through the process of your creation that by nature make up who you are. Its a great thing, a strange and wonderful combination of what comes from your genetical line that makes up a person or as my biology professor put it A little from Column A and little from column B and BAM! There's you.

As some of you who know me I have a wee bit of a hearing impairment that requires me to wear hearing aids. The joys of hearing impairment is that often times it comes with a little bit of lisp and I talk with my hands (a lot. sometimes it looks like I'm directing air traffic.). I've gone through years of speech therapy to help me with my S sounds. Which is why I hate Sally Sells Sea Shells at the Sea Shore. I always thought Sally's business plan was a little off. Why would you sell something at the location of where you could purchase it? I always wanted to go to the sea shore and pick up sea shells and dance around Sally and be all look at me Sally I'm picking sea shells for free! HA! If you ever want to know what Speech therapy is like read David Sedris book Me Talk Pretty One Day the first essay sums it beautifully.

So why this big conversation about my hearing impairment and slightly fun lisp and big hand gestures? The other day I had a situation happen in which I heard someone I didn't know very well go "I love to hear that gay kid talk" (heads up hearing impaired people can still hear. Oh. and we read lips pretty well too.) and I turned around I looked at the person and I said I'm deaf not gay and second of all its none of your business. I want to stress though that while I am personally not gay I have many friends who are and I bare no political agenda. people are who they are. But like Oscar tells Felix in the Apartment "You know what they say about people who assume? It makes an Ass out of you and me." I don't see how my sexual orientation plays into the way I speak but for some people it does.

There. I've risen to speak on how hearing impairment doesn't equal gayness. Let's not visit this issue again shall we? Now if you excuse me I have some sea shells I need to go throw at Sally.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Mute to the Sound of Silence

On this season of Blake got Fat...

(Read the next sentences like the guy from the previews at the movies)

He's made you laugh, He's made you cry and now he's moving up in life?

End of preview.

I've decided to treat my blog like a TV series. I take three months off and I'm ready again to write again. Here's what you've missed so far. I worked. and worked. Worked. Oh did I mention I worked. Went to The Sea Ranch in Gulala California. Then worked again. Got promoted. Still worked. Work. Workity. Worked. See wasn't that entertaining? I thought so.

Oh where do I work you ask?

I am the front desk tech coordinator for the Mammography department. Yup. You heard me. Mammography. I have a great boob job you could say. Its where I plan on meeting my eternally young cougar and marry her and never have to work again! See I've got priorities. But seriously why mammography? Cause I'm the biggest prostitute when it comes to money. I go where the money goes. That and being a room service server/phone operator/expeditor (the one who puts the room service trays together) / dishwasher was becoming one job too many.

So I switched. But in order to keep my benefits I had to work between the two departments. So I started working 50 to 60 hour weeks. So fun. Not. But working so much did give me a benefit. I got a new car! YAY! But more of that tomorrow.

I'm back for good. I promise.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Constantly in the Darkness

I have learned that in order to see life you have to look for the little stories between the movements of those we love. Though we are all the greatest actors on this stage called life its the simplest moments, the small hesitation before a word is spoken, the casual way a hand reaches up to push a stray hair behind a ear.

Before my Grandma lost all sense of past and future and moved completely to the present she left me a voicemail message when I moved up to Logan for the first time living in a completely foreign (when there was a time when college campuses seemed strange) world I listened to that message over and over again when I was lonely, when I was frightened or when nothing made sense. It was the anchor of a voice pulling me through the faint light at the end of the hall. Then in a act of stupidity before I could record it off my phone I hit the 7 to delete instead of the 9 to save it.

Why am I sharing this? Because sometimes its the spaces where we need to remember, need to see, need to hear that voice to keep us going. Cause when you are standing on the edge of the crazy cliff you need something to pull you back, a purpose to make you feel that you aren't alone or the reminder of where you had direction.

Because right now I feel a little lost. But perhaps that's what I need to reach the place I'm going.

It's These Quiet Times

I realize now after the fact that I have a serious problem. I thought that after I had worked the 12 steps gone to meetings and been clean for four months and gotten my chip of soberity that this would never be a problem again.

But I was wrong.

To understand my Coke addiction you have to understand my background. I was brought up in a home where pop (soda, soda pop, fizzy beverages etc) just wasn't consumed. It's not that my mother had a deep strong adverson to soda its just that we just never bought it. But on the weekends? The weekends were glorious dear friends.

My father made the weekends be full of adventures and explorations of new cultures. We went to fairs, mini horse shows, remote controlled car shows, air shows, (we went to a lot of shows now that I think about it) , the bike shop, minture train shows, hikes, bike rides, and just laying on the couch watching the Tour De France. (A strong viewer since 1984). But how does relate to my coke addiction?

Who knows all I know is that I have a problem. And I need help. What this has to do with anything who knows?