I Wear My Sunglasses at Night

When did it become fashionable to wear socks with sandals?

Last night I was at the Smith’s Food King getting my weekly groceries and as I was wondering around the aisles* I spotted this rather young man in Jesus sandals and black socks. Given his attire (spandex** bike shorts and bike jersey) I gave him a pass. Then I spotted another youth wearing the same thing. When did this come into fashion? Also, where were the older sisters/wives/partners/dog to say yeah honey no on this?

Has it finally happened? Have I crossed into the realm of passing judgement on youths? Is this where I start referring to myself in the third person and take naps? 

(Wait don’t answer that.)

I’m not fashion forward but seriously. If Jesus didn’t 

need socks neither do you. Before you pass judgment on me I had to endure 6 weeks at the M.T.C (missionary training center) with a picture of Jesus next to the mirror with the saying “Jesus did his part did you do yours?”  It got to the point where the smell of Aqua net was so overwhelming I worried that the person who smoked their contraband cigarette would set the building on fire.    

Not to sound all Professor Higgins but why is this okay? Also, when did the man bun become acceptable for white boys?  It’s a honey oh no!

I digress. If this is your style then what can I say you do you but know I am the fat man in the Lulu’s judging you and maybe throwing the ultimate  Oh bless your heart you tried!

So, the moral of the story is Smith’s Food king. Please stop rearranging your aisles as this makes the chances of me getting heaven that much smaller.

*Seriously Harrison Smith’s enough with the re-arranging. If I wanted to play I spy I would call my niece. She’s cuter and makes it way more fun. See also Riverdale Target*  

** Am forever traumatized child as seeing my father and his friends in spandex way too much. But that’s a post for another day**