Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Oh My Poor Neglected Baby

I'm lucky I don't have children. Cause if I treated them like I did this blog I would get slapped with child abuse charges. I give all this love and attention posting pictures shamelessly promoting this bundle of joy I created and then I turn cold and unloving. A la Mommie Dearest (No more Wire hangers! No more! Whap! curse you Netflix.) I have great intentions I really do. I would update with pictures I took myself, I'd show the fancy blog design I created, and then I would give you something to laugh about. Sorry. However I can now enlighten you in the joys of running the front desk of mammography. That's right. Boobs. Lots and lots of old lady boobs. Before you think I am a dirty disgusting young man (which I might be) I tell you this I am merely a glorified secretary who never goes behind the door. I merely greet and register and hand out gift bags. See what a college degree gets you? Boobs. Its the American man's dream!

I wish I could tell you that I had a great something happening in my life. The only thing exciting I could share with you is that I have so far tied over 2,000 pink ribbon gift bags for Breast cancer Awareness. What great lesson have I learned from stuffing these gift bags with? Mainly how to get to second base with yourself. Seriously see? This is why I would be a terrible parent. I'm overly fort coming and honest.

Pause for the Blake Got Fat Service announcement:

If you are a woman who has a family history of breast cancer, 40 years old and want to have a romantic but brutal affair with a machine get your mammogram. Breast Cancer is the second cause of death of women. If you truly love yourself get a mammogram. All insurances count it as a preventative screening. Don't have insurance the public health department has vouchers that allow you to get one for 50 dollars! (That's like 4 pints of Java chip frapicinos ice cream!)

Cause Breast Cancer sucks.

Maybe I won't be such terrible parent after all. Cause I'm all about preventive medicine yo.

Or not.

(No more Wire hangers! Whap! Sorry couldn't resist.)


  1. Thanks for the info Blake! And look on the bright side, you could be working for a proctologist? :) XOXO

  2. So far a college degree has gotten me nothing so be happy you got boobs, lol.