Oh My Poor Neglected Baby

I'm lucky I don't have children. Cause if I treated them like I did this blog I would get slapped with child abuse charges. I give all this love and attention posting pictures shamelessly promoting this bundle of joy I created and then I turn cold and unloving. A la Mommie Dearest (No more Wire hangers! No more! Whap! curse you Netflix.) I have great intentions I really do. I would update with pictures I took myself, I'd show the fancy blog design I created, and then I would give you something to laugh about. Sorry. However I can now enlighten you in the joys of running the front desk of mammography. That's right. Boobs. Lots and lots of old lady boobs. Before you think I am a dirty disgusting young man (which I might be) I tell you this I am merely a glorified secretary who never goes behind the door. I merely greet and register and hand out gift bags. See what a college degree gets you? Boobs. Its the American man's dream!

I wish I could tell you that I had a great something happening in my life. The only thing exciting I could share with you is that I have so far tied over 2,000 pink ribbon gift bags for Breast cancer Awareness. What great lesson have I learned from stuffing these gift bags with? Mainly how to get to second base with yourself. Seriously see? This is why I would be a terrible parent. I'm overly fort coming and honest.

Pause for the Blake Got Fat Service announcement:

If you are a woman who has a family history of breast cancer, 40 years old and want to have a romantic but brutal affair with a machine get your mammogram. Breast Cancer is the second cause of death of women. If you truly love yourself get a mammogram. All insurances count it as a preventative screening. Don't have insurance the public health department has vouchers that allow you to get one for 50 dollars! (That's like 4 pints of Java chip frapicinos ice cream!)

Cause Breast Cancer sucks.

Maybe I won't be such terrible parent after all. Cause I'm all about preventive medicine yo.

Or not.

(No more Wire hangers! Whap! Sorry couldn't resist.)