The One Where Blake Comes Back

(Like this star? Buy it here) 

He hem.

Well hello!  Wasn't that a lovely little year long break. Did you miss me?

Why am I coming back to what seems to be out dated way of communicating with people? Well to put it bluntly I love to take pictures but I hate hate hate having my picture taken. Someone mentions the word group photo or "family" picture and I'm like the road runner poof! Gone in a flume of smoke. So how could I snap chat or vine? Also let's be honest no one likes to hear their voice recorded.  Plus to be truthful when ever I ran into one of you who used to read this would ask when are you going to blog again?  So the question would haunt my conscious  mind when would I come back?  Would anyone still read this? Would I still read this? 

The answer isn't a magical one. 

Rather it's a truthful one.

I'm blogging again because I've finally been able to make peace with some of the demons (see depression) that made me go  full on Howard  Hughes just short of wearing Kleenex boxes for shoes. While I wanted to share with you some aspects of the journey I didn't want to rip all my stitches a part in a public forum. Cause like a sex tape the internet is forever and I didn't want to have explain why or where I was coming from nor did I want people to call my mother and say "I'm worried about Blake". 

So now that we have that out of the way let's focus on the real reason why you are here. The question that y'all have been wondering for the last six years. Am I still fat? 

Yes. 

Am I working on it? 

Yes. 

My poor trainer. I'm sorry Ryan if  you are reading this.  

So what makes this attempt different than all my other ones? Cause this is the middle of my story. No one loves the middle of  a weight loss story. We want the infomercial version. Give me the dramatic fat sad picture. Insert a few minute of dramatic monologue music and then segue into the after picture of the smiley fit picture. Fast quick and easy (Three words that describe me best). To be truthful  this is my Empire Strikes Back, the the Half Blood Prince, Catching Fire and I could go on but I won't. However what's wonderful about the middle is this is where the magic happens.  The point in which hooks you in and makes you feel for the characters. 

See I had been wrapped up in so many excuses,so so so much blame, and to be truthful fear I was always afraid that I wasn't good enough nor that I was worthy enough to try. That I am better to be known by my failures instead of successes. Till I read this book. (Daring Greatly by Brene Brown I promise I'll stop with the hyper links) and saw this quote 

and it changed my life. Truly and utterly changed my life. Because if you aren't in the arena and let's be honest the weight loss arena is huge and all I was doing was looking out at the critic section trying to win over approval for my excuses. Then I realized that if I was looking at those sitting in the critic seats they weren't getting their faces and asses marred then I had no interest in their feed back. Don't get me wrong I still hear them but instead of a loud roar (in the first draft there was a very long Katy Perry moment but I felt it was reaching just a bit) they are becoming more of whisper. 

Lastly why the picture of the Bee Star for this post? Because my name is Blake it starts with a B and stars are my favorite shape. Plus bees represent industry and hard work. I come from the land of industry and hard work but more on that later. 

So in a very long and dramatic way I guess I'm asking for you to once again join me on this journey, 

Let's have some fun shall we? 

B