Superman (It's Not Easy)

So. Let's play a game of how much I really love 2014 so far. It seems every month has brought about some new joyous learning experience which has taught me that life is really unpredictable. Yet as the Sondheim song goes "I'm still here!" I'm alive! Not dead yet! 

Many of you have been asking me  how did I end up in the hospital this month. It goes like this I work in hospital with lots of sick people. I mean a lot. I do my best by washing my hands, sanitizing my hands and not touching people. No seriously people hand me stuff and I'm like no no I'm good you keep it. Yet somethings just happen. I got a virus. I call it the firestorm virus. It laid waste to my immune system. Fever, sore throat, ear ache, head ache, and muscle ache etc. It started two weeks ago on a Friday. No big deal I thought I'll die on the weekend and come back on Monday and be fine. Famous last words. 

So I took Monday off. Cause really when you are sick who wants to go back to work on a Monday? That's just mean. I being the genius came back to work on Tues looking like death warmed over and sounding like a 4 pack a day smoker named Delores. After being at work for a few hours my boss came up to me and said that Mammoland had voted and that I was being voted off the island till I felt better. Which at that point I was so tired and so worn out I just handed my torch over and let them extinguish it and went home to go back to my BFF my bed.  That night I woke up coughing so hard I couldn't breathe and it scared me. I'm not the type to go to the ER.I know how much one of those visits cost and secondly I believe the term EMERGENCY not I have a cold make me feel better. Yet I was like uh can't breathe this is kinda scary. Yet I got my breath back and I propped myself up with lots of pillows and called in to work. 

At this point I was it finally hit me to go to the Doctor. No more pioneer medicine for me. Pioneer medicine is what I call my stay at home care it mainly consist of sleeping and taking drugs that make me sleep ( I heart you Nyquill) and usually I'm good. So I wore my good sweats and a ratty USU T shirt and I went to the Dr. At this point I was so tired, so worn out and coughing so hard I would have gone in my bathrobe. After explaining all my symptoms I was waiting for my Dr. to go oh here's a Z pack or a prescription for antibiotics. Instead he was giving me the worried look and goes I'm thinking of admitting you. I was like oh no you aren't. I'm 29 years old and no no you aren't besides I'm not prepared to stay here and I don't want to have a sleepover at work! I'm here too much as it is! He relented and ordered blood work. See I hate needles and I was dehydrated. I knew I was dehydrated yet they came with their tubes and big needles. I begged for water and a moment to get somewhat hydrated. I'm a bleeder and people love to take my blood cause it goes fast yet I knew this wasn't going to in my favor. The MA ignored my request for water so I was like fine GF you aren't going to like this when I'm on the floor.  

When you pass out you go instantly to dreamland and its kinda nice. When I woke up my first question was "Did I pee my pants?" in high school there was a girl who gave blood too fast and peed her pants when she passed out. Since then its my worst fear if I pass out. Then I saw I had quite the audience. Nothing like having a lot of people look at you while you lay on the floor and I saw my Dr. and I looked at him and said let me guess I"m getting admitted aren't I? He nodded and said yup. 

Perfect. 

I went in to the Dr's office and I won an overnight stay at work. WOO! 

When they admit you they suddenly think you are an invalid. No more walking for you. So as I sat in my wheel chair I realized that this was lunch time and I was going to go pass everybody I knew. I'm a big believer if you act like its not a big deal people respond to how you act in the situation.  As I was being paraded in the hallway I acted like I was in a parade. A. I didn't realize I knew so many people and B. Its kinda fun to wave to everybody. With everybody asking me what was going on I just told them I won an overnight stay at the hospital! 

More tomorrow.