My Mother

There are certain things from your childhood you carry with you. Like the lyrics to this song. I've never forgotten them. It always seems to come haunt me on those really bad days.

Childhood. Whether it was a good one or one that was featured in a Lifetime movie there is always one element that everyone shares.It's our mothers. Whether she was a good one or a bad one we all have/had one.

I love this song. Its funny but whenever I have a moment in my life that is joyous or overly tragic I always think I need to call my mother. If that makes me a so called "Momma's Boy" so what. When you have such a good friend and companion like my mother she's always on my side. I know I'm never alone in the world cause she's in my life.

Before this turns into an overly sentimental post  I realize I'm almost 28 year old and I've taken my mother for granted the work and things sacrificed for me. I can't say anything else but thank you. Earlier in this blog I wrote about my mother's cancer and how it impacted our relationship but now she taught me the most important lesson.

Its better to be Kind.

I can't not though talk about my mom with out mentioning her wonderful mother and my other best friend my Grandma Dar. If its anything I've been twice blessed to have my Grandma in my life. Which makes this post so much harder cause my dear friend is in the twilight years of her life. Life played all of us a cruel joke ten years ago when my grandma memories started to fade. Slowly first. Then rapidly faster. She lives currently in the now. The past has been erased and the future remains unclear. Its hard to see someone you love struggle to remember who you are and finally not realize who you are. 

I can't write this with a glossy overview. 

There is no oh but we will get by stiff upper lip cheerio attitude. 

It really sucks. Like a kick in the pants sucks. Life with no deserts sucks.

How do you say goodbye to the person loves you?  How do you let go of the person who has shown you nothing but true kindness and love? My life has been completely changed for the better cause she has been in my life. 

My tomorrows have been created because of what's she taught me, what she's shown me, and how she still is still kind. How she genuinely cares how I'm doing. She may not remember what I told her five minutes ago but she still cares and always asks.

Every Thursday she gets her hair done and we always get lunch afterwards. I love spending these Thursdays with my Mother and my Grandma. On the days my Mom can't take her I still take her. We put on Sinatra and its just another wonderful adventure just the two of us. Instead of her telling me her funny stories of her past I tell them to her and she throws her head back and laughs. Her wonderful laugh. Its the kind of laugh that is distinctive and the thing I remember the most. 

However  more than this I realize she taught me to be kind. My earliest memory of my Grandma is when we were riding in her huge 1976 Cadillac Eldorado down on 30th and Wall. This is a popular hangout for homeless people to petition for help. She went to Wendy's ordered them a hamburger meal and slipped in 20 dollars. Cause he probably would get hungry later she told me. It made a huge impression on me. 

It's better to be Kind. 

Yet in this twilight hours of my Grandma's life I realize she's lived a full life. A wonderful life. So I enjoy these moments with her. I'm lucky to have her. I'm truly lucky to have such a wonderful mother and grandmother in my life. 

Happy Mother's Day!