Sunday, June 12, 2011

It's Not About the Money

A Big Fat ALOHA!

Yes I'm back from my self imposed blogging vacation/ break from writing. I needed a little space in order to get back together from the marathon. 14 hour work days, and family. Yes sometimes you need a break from them too. Oh and Maren? Hawaii was wonderful since you were the only person who guessed where I was going so I'll drop it off.

So what have I been up to you may ask? Well deary ducks I went Hawaii which was wonderful (how could Hawaii be awful I ask you?) but that's not the focus of this story. This one focuses on Cancer, Phone Sex Operators, and why I'm not allowed to watch TV anymore.

As some of you know I don't have television at home. I chose to have internet and electrical power instead so I had to give up my daily feast of Oprah, Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Oz, House Hunters, and thousands of other shows. Which has been fine freeing up my time allowed me to complete such projects as organizing my sock drawer and praying for orphans in Africa (I know I know I'm a "saint". ) but on vacation when you stay in hotels they have this wonderful amenity besides the free soaps and shower caps called free TV! Not only just the regular channels but cable too!
Lately the last few months I have had problems with my voice. I've always had rather a high pitched voice (not by choice let me tell you there is nothing better than answering the phone to Ma'am is your husband home?) but I've had this sore throat/ mucus problem which has caused my voice to go through puberty all over again (cause it was so much fun the first time) high and low and sometimes I sound like a 64 year old chain smoking phone sex operator named Rhonda.

Back to the story.

As I was slathering myself up in sun screen I had this wonderful box on and I had turned on to Dr. Oz. and I wasn't really paying attention till the guest was talking about a cancer that was killing more people but hadn't really been talked or campaigned about. Its known as throat cancer. So of course Dr. Oz starts listing off the symptoms.

1. Frequent sore throat (CHECK!)

2. Loss of voice or breathless quality (Check?)

3. Voice changing ranging (CHECK CHECK!)

At this point I'm starting to think Oh dear. I've got cancer. I've got the Cancer! That cancer they are talking about I've got it!

and finally the last symptom Tumors or lumps on the neck area at this point I'm choking myself going is that a lump? Is that lump? After working myself up into a brief frenzy I realized something. They were talking about months of these symptoms I've had for two weeks. Oh dear.

So no I don't have the cancer. But this is why I'm not allowed to watch TV anymore.

Oh well. Nice try Dr. Oz.


  1. How sore is your throat? LIke strep throat sore? I really think it could be allergies. It's not all about a stuffy nose and sneezing with allergies. If you throat is super sore I might have a sucker for you :) They numb your throat right up. If you think you might have allergies there are plenty of meds you can take but I would start by showering at night, sleeping with the windows closed, and changing your pillow case every few days. I hope you feel better!
    Oh and by the way, I kind of feel like I cheated in guessing where you were going. I do know that the Farr clan goes to Hawaii every year about this time but I think I saw a total of 3 different family members in the pharmacy a few days before you left stocking up on supplies :) Glad you had a good time!

  2. Blake, I love your blog! It is so real life and refreshing. I am glad you don't have cancer! I am impressed by the marathon. I hope you are doing well. You are amazing!

  3. oh, Rhonda you slay me. I hope you start feeling better. And I know this is an odd request, but please put some pictures of you in Hawaii up.

  4. I hate Dr.Oz. He ALWAYS freaks me out and I walk away thinking I have cancer or some horrible disease. Hope you get feeling better!

  5. Oh dr oz freaks me out! I have every disease out there! Haha. Hope you feel better rhonda! Haha